Pieces of Forever
by reenas-as
Summary: Lelouch never intended to live into his brave new world, of that Kallen is certain. But since he has, they make the most of all the moments they can share together. Post-series, ignores the OVAs (and anything else that implies Lelouch actually died) - otherwise canon compliant. Lelouch x Kallen
1. Prologue

Prologue:

 _5 days post Z.R. (Zero Requiem)_

Suzaku resisted the urge to tug at the restrictive cloth of his high collar as he made his way wearily through the halls of his new home – of _Zero's_ home. The residence –too large for a single person really, but it served as both dwelling and office– had been a gift from Lady Kaguya, his cousin who could never know who he truly was, could never know he still lived. He hadn't wanted to accept it, had thought it too much, too grand, but Kaguya had insisted, telling him that the people needed a symbol, a place as well as a person, and he couldn't refuse her because he knew she was right. It was what Lelouch would have done.

He tried to shrug his shoulders unobtrusively, hoping to ease the pressure at his throat. How had Lelouch stood this restrictive clothing? It kind of itched too. Still, he didn't see why it bothered him so much, it wasn't all that different from the uniform he'd worn while piloting the Lancelot. He wondered if his discomfort had less to do with the nature of the cloth of his current garb and more to do with the weight of expectation surrounding it.

The five days since the completion of Lelouch's "Zero Requiem" had been an overwhelming whirlwind of activity. He'd attended meeting after meeting with all manners of foreign powers, local authorities, and representatives of the people of the new world order. What with the reorganization of the government and military structures, the reallocation of Britannia's territories, and taking command of the Black Knights, he had hardly had time to breathe. It didn't matter that Zero was not the official leader of the UFN; he was in fact if not on paper. It seemed everyone needed Zero's opinion on something.

He was grateful for the framework that Lelouch had left in place for him, for them, for this. He shuddered to think what would have happened without all of his former friend and conspirator's careful planning. The evidence of his foresight was staggering. Had a seventeen year old truly been able to predict the tides of politics and the mass psychology of human nature so well? He was truly a master strategist in all things. And yet there was still so much left to do. Thinking of all he had done in the last few days and all he would have to do, in the near future, beyond that, Suzaku felt aged beyond his years.

"Damn it, Lelouch," he muttered to himself, "you weren't kidding when you said we'd both have to die to carry out this plan. Suzaku Kurarugi really is no more."

Still, this was his penance. He would endure for the sake of a better world, a peaceful future.

Suzaku nodded to a passing staff member –the appointment of a private staff he'd conceded on his own, as it was in keeping with Zero's established character– as he made his way through the wide halls. Just a little further and he'd reach his destination and perhaps, at last, find a bit of the peace he so desperately craved. If nothing else he might conceivably catch a few minutes' rest – the staff seemed loathe to disturb him in his study.

Suzaku paused before a heavy wood door, ornately carved with curling strokes vaguely reminiscent of leaves. A curious choice for Kaguya, as it was far more in keeping with Britannian tastes in carpentry than Japanese, but perhaps she had commissioned it with Lelouch Lamperouge, the Brittannian schoolboy, in mind. Pushing the door open, he stepped inside only to stop mid-motion.

Across the room, facing the window, was a woman.

She was not tall, but she had an energy and vitality, even now, that demanded attention – though he fancied he could sense a sadness in her that had not been present before. It was not that she had not held sorrow for all the time he'd known her, but rather that this was a different kind of sorrow, more personal, deeper perhaps. Still she held her shoulders squared and her chin raised, determined to face this new world head on.

He cursed himself in the confines of his mind for not noticing the presence of another before entering. _Dangerous_ , he scolded. Was he slipping so much already? And now, when he could afford it least. Still, he supposed it was understandable - he wasn't used to this kind of weariness. Physical exhaustion he could push through, but this constant intellectual exercise was something entirely new to him – as was the weight of knowing that his decisions now affected the entire world.

Understandable, perhaps, he conceded, but still unacceptable.

He studied the woman's back, noting for the first time her apparel: dark slacks and a businesslike jacket. It was, perhaps, the first time he had ever seen her legs covered. The professional look seemed at odds with her spiked out locks, but then, he was so used to seeing her in her uniform –school or otherwise– that perhaps it was only that.

At least he wasn't in danger from her.

He felt some of the tension seep from his body as he stepped soundlessly into the room and closed the door behind him; yet he was still uncertain. Why she was here? What was it she wanted?

She did not move, did not turn, and yet he knew that she knew he was there. Of course she did, because it was _her_. For long moments there was an expectant silence.

"This was his plan from the beginning, wasn't it?" she spoke suddenly, her voice carrying in the dead silence of the room, seeming louder than it actually was. She didn't seem to require a response from him as she continued. "Him becoming Emperor and being struck down? To change the world he had to destroy it; had to rally it against a common enemy. He needed a villain so evil _everyone_ would hail his killer as a savior, and when he couldn't find one he created one – became one." She gave a bleak laugh. "And I didn't figure it out until the very end." Her fists clenched. "Until it was too late to save him, too late to tell him . . ." Her voice faded to nothing, and he could hear in it the tears she was no doubt holding back. "I was such a fool."

She reached out, pressed one palm flat to the glass of the window and stared out into the distance. He wondered if she was seeing what was out there, or if she was lost in her own mind, in a world of thought and memory and grief.

"You know, I don't think he ever intended to live into this new world of his," she said softly. "I think he knew. Always knew." She shifted, and for a moment he thought that she would turn and face him, but in the end she merely leaned a little closer to the glass, resting her head on her hand. "What was that he used to say? 'Those who kill should be prepared to be killed.'" She drew a deep breath and finally, _finally_ , turned to face him, hands falling loosely at her sides.

"Hello, Suzaku," she said quietly. There was no evidence in her expression of the tears that had earlier threatened to fall. He hadn't expected otherwise. It didn't surprise him that she knew who he was either, and it never occurred to him to try to deceive her. Wearily, he removed the mask, holding it under one arm and running his free hand through his tousled brown locks.

"Kallen, what are you doing here?"

"You're Zero now."

Uncertain what to make of that statement, Suzaku said nothing.

She took a step forward. "Have you forgotten?" she asked him. "I'm Zero's Knight."

His eyes widened as he came to understand what she meant. "Kallen—" he began to protest, only to be cut off.

"As long as Zero exists, I live for him."

Her gaze held his steadily, almost steely, as if daring him to refuse her. For a time there was silence as they measured one another. It was pointless, he decided, he could see that. And, really, would it be so bad to have someone to share the burden with? To have someone with him he _knew_? Who remembered? There was Nunnally, of course, but Nunnally was still a child, there was only so much she could understand, only so much he would burden her with. But Kallen . . . Kallen was stronger than anyone he had ever known. He would never have asked it of her, but if she was willing – and more so, determined . . .

"Well, there's not much point in telling you no, is there?" he asked ruefully.

"Not really," she responded, and one corner of her mouth quirked upward just a bit, an echo of what it might have been before— just before.

Suzaku took a step, closing the distance between them, and offered her his hand. "Welcome to the team."

XXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: I'm well behind the fanfic train, I know, and this series didn't make it huge, so I'm not expecting much response, but I wrote the first couple chapters of this maybe 9 years ago and I felt like finishing it off and posting it. Hopefully someone out there will still enjoy it.

Thanks for reading,

reenas-as


	2. Chapter 1

Ch.1

 _3 years post Z.R. - June_

Kallen rounded the last corner and within a few short strides stood before the door to Zero's office. Pausing she took a moment to center herself before rapping sharply on the heavy oak door.

"It's fine, Kallen," she muttered. "If it was an emergency he would have called you. It's not a big deal."

Except . . . he knew that she always checked in with him first thing when her shift began, so why would he leave word at the front desk _specifically_ requesting that she come see him as soon as she arrived?

"Enter." The command was slightly muffled by the thick wood, but she heard it clearly enough and swung the door open, stepping inside and closing it behind her.

"You wanted to see me?"

He was seated at his desk, surrounded by haphazard stacks of paperwork that seemed totally out of keeping with his personality; certainly out of keeping with his assumed persona of Zero. Apparently his work load had gotten away from him again. She wasn't a secretary or anything, but she still wished he'd tell her when things were getting to be too much. At least she might be able to help him delegate some of his tasks.

"Ah, Kallen." He looked up and pushed the document he'd been perusing away. "Yes."

It was only then that she noticed he was wearing his mask. A familiar hollow feeling settled in her chest.

It was still so strange to hear Zero's voice coming from the man she knew to be Suzaku. She knew it was just a voice synthesizer, but still, it always made her heart pick up speed for just an instant before she remembered. Even after all this time it still sent a pang through her.

"Take that off," she said quietly.

"Oh." Zero reached up and unclasped the side lock, pulling the mask off and shaking out his hair, becoming only Suzaku once again. "Sorry about that. I never know when someone might come in." He set the mask off to the side, still within easy reach. Kallen's eyes followed it, lingering with an all too familiar grief. He hated that look in on her face, lingering behind her eyes even when she was smiling. It always left him wishing he could say something to take it away, and feeling awkward because he knew nothing he could do or say would do so.

After a moment Kallen seemed to shake herself free of the demons of memory and her eyes, clear once more, turned to him as she sauntered forward and leaned against his desk. "What's up?"

"Oh, right." He shifted a little in his chair. It had seemed like a good idea when Nunnally and he had discussed it, but suddenly, with her standing right in front of him, he wasn't sure how to bring it up. "Ah . . ." He scratched the back of his head self-consciously.

"Suzaku."

He winced at the warning in her tone.

"Right, well . . ." Drawing this out would only make it worse. Besides, it wasn't a big deal. Really. It was just so outside the norm for them. "I was thinking." He looked up at her and she was watching him expectantly from across his desk. "We should go on a vacation, Kallen. Get away." He waved a hand ambiguously. There. That hadn't been so bad.

Except . . .

Except that she had the oddest expression on her face. She looked a touch confused, and a little suspicious actually. He shifted uncertainly in his seat. Suspicious? Why suspicious? He went over his words in his head. No, perfectly innocent. There wasn't anything he was supposed to be doing in the near future she might think he was trying to get out of, was there? He couldn't think of anything.

As he was wracking his brain for a plausible reason behind that look, she suddenly spoke.

"This isn't an indecent proposal is it, Suzaku?" She propped one hand on her hip. "Because let me tell you right now—"

That stopped Suzaku cold and heat flooded his face. "What?" He flailed, sputtering, "NO! Of course not."

She raised a brow, expression shifting from suspicion to clear amusement.

Realizing he was only making things worse, Suzaku drew in a calming breath, calling on his years of martial arts training to bring himself to calm focus. "No," he reiterated. "I just thought— I mean, wouldn't it be nice to get away from all this?" His sweeping gesture encompassed his desk, the office, the mask. "Don't you ever want to be somewhere where we can just be us again?"

Her expression softened and she sat against the edge of his desk. "Of course." Sometimes she forgot how hard it must be for him. Forgot that he couldn't be himself, that he was always on stage, could never be Suzaku Kurarugi because Suzaku Kurarugi was dead. All he was was Zero now, except when they were alone.

"It was Nunnally's idea, actually," he confessed. "She thought it would be good for the three of us to take some time to ourselves." _To remember_ , he wanted to add, but was afraid to. Kallen had recovered from her loss – _their_ loss– well. She'd finished school, found a place for herself and her mother, seamlessly worked her way into Zero's operations. She'd learned to smile and laugh and let go. But there was still an edge of sadness to her that had not been there before, a sorrow dwelling in the back of her eyes that only showed when she let her guard down.

"Alright."

The quiet acquiescence startled him a bit.

"What?"

"I said alright." Clear blue eyes met his steadily. "It's a good idea. We should do it." Her gaze shifted past him, out the window, and he gave her a few moments to contemplate. Truthfully, he needed those moments to reorganize his own thoughts a bit. He hadn't expected her to capitulate so quickly: she was a borderline workaholic.

"So, when?" she finally asked, gaze shifting back to his.

He shrugged. "A few days. Maybe Friday. Will that give you time to wrap things up here?"

"I think I can manage in three days. When will we be back?"

"I'm not really sure. We haven't had a moment to ourselves since this whole mess began, maybe not since the Black Rebellion. It'd be nice to take a couple weeks, maybe three."

Her brows shot up. "Three whole weeks?"

"If we can manage it. We'd have to come back in case of emergency, of course, but we've got phones. And capable subordinates," he reminded her. "We should be fine."

She worried her lower lip and for a moment he thought she might change her mind, might refuse, but then she nodded.

"Alright. Well, if we're leaving in a few days I've got things to get settled." She stood, but then paused to look back at him expectantly.

"Oh, right." Sometimes he still forgot that she wasn't just Kallen and he wasn't just Suzaku. They weren't classmates, or casual acquaintances, or even enemies any more. She was a soldier and he was her superior. "We're through here. Dismissed."

She gave a brisk nod in answer and then crossed the room at a clipped pace.

Suzaku watched her go and was grateful it had gone so well. Now if only he could be so lucky come Friday. Rubbing at his eyes wearily, he reached for his mask and slipped it back over his head before turning, resigned, back to his paperwork. He wished he was certain he'd made the right decision.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

"Oh, the lake is just beautiful, isn't it?" Nunnally exclaimed as Suzaku settled her into her wheelchair. It never ceased to amaze Kallen that a girl who had gone through so much hardship could have such a cheerful view of the world.

Suzaku laughed lightly in response. "Well, it's the beginning of summer, so I'd hope so."

"Oh, Suzaku," Nunnally scolded. "You'd say that no matter what season it was, wouldn't you?"

"You caught me."

Their playful banter reminded Kallen of their time together at Ashford Academy and she smiled before the pleasant remembrance was overshadowed by more immediate recollections and longings. Lelouch had made her promise they'd go back to school when it was all over – a promise she had kept even though he hadn't.

"You coming, Kallen?"

Her head whipped toward Suzaku at the mild question.

"Uh, right. Sorry." She reached down to grab their bags. "I was just . . . thinking."

If Suzaku had any speculations as to what exactly she was thinking about, he mercifully kept them to himself.

"Hey, you don't have to carry all those," Suzaku protested. "I'll come get them after I've settled you and Nunnally in."

"It's okay, I've got them."

Suzaku began to respond, but then merely shook his head. If there was one thing he'd learned in life it was that you couldn't argue with Kallen Kouzuki.

"Hmph." Kallen nodded in satisfaction and hurried to catch up with them. "So," she began, coming up beside them. "What is this place again?"

"It was our summer home a long, long time ago." Nunnally sounded a little wistful, though perhaps they were both just attributing their own emotions to her. "When Britannian lands became forfeit it became property of the USJ, and Lady Kaguya said she thought it suited me."

Kallen and Suzaku exchanged smiles over Nunnally's head. Nunnally was so innocent that sometimes it was difficult to remember she was now a young lady of seventeen rather than the naïve fourteen-year-old who had once been so dear to Lelouch.

The grounds truly did suit Nunnally. Large, spacious, open, filled with wildflowers and wildlife. It was innocent, beautiful, peaceful and alive. Suzaku was very glad it had survived everything Japan had been through. It was good, right, that Nunnally should have this place.

Looking down at the top of her head he found himself once again amazed at all she had endured, and all she had to bear even now. Immediately upon the death of Lelouch, Nunnally had been named Regent of the Empire of Britannia. With the advent of democracy she was more of a figurehead now, but she was quite politically active. It kept them from seeing once another as much as he might like, but he had ordered Schneizel (still operating under Lelouch's Geass order) to remain by her side, and he took comfort in the knowledge that she was not alone.

"Well, it is beautiful," Kallen said, tipping her head back to look up at the sky. "And big." She dropped her gaze back to the enormous white house that loomed before them. "I don't think I've seen a house like that since . . ." she shook her head, "well, I'm not sure I've seen one like that ever – except in pictures."

Nunnally giggled. "It's bigger than Suzaku's mansion then?"

"Oh," Suzaku interjected, "it's definitely larger than the Zero Residence. And I bet it isn't over half offices like that behemoth is."

Both young women laughed then, Nunnally's bell-like chime joining with the slightly deeper tones of Kallen's chuckles, and Suzaku smiled. Nunnally had been right: this was just what they all needed.

"Well, shall we take on the beast?" Kallen swung one hand, heavy laden with luggage, toward the house.

Suzaku gave her a wink, but addressed his next question to the girl below him. "Whaddya say, Nunnally? Ready to challenge that monster?"

Nunnally giggled once more. "Let's do it, Sir Kurarugi," she teased.

"As my Lady commands. Knights!" He looked to Kallen. "Go forth!"

They ran the remaining distance to the door, their efforts hampered by laughter all the way. Kallen stopped at the door, turning to ask where the key was, but was stopped when the door swung open.

"Sayoko!" Nunnally exclaimed happily.

The former ninja and pseudo-member of the Black Knights bowed respectfully, though the warm smile she bestowed upon them belied her formal servant's attitude.

"My Lady, Nunnally," the woman said, stepping back to allow them entry.

"Sayoko," Kallen remarked as the woman reached to take their luggage. "I didn't know you were still around." Realizing how rude that sounded, Kallen flushed. "I mean— what I meant to say was, of course you're still around, but— and— Nunnally . . ."

Finally, Sayoko took pity on her. "I remained with my Lady Nunnally after the death of Master Le— of Lelouch," she quickly corrected herself. "My lady retained a small staff to attend you all during your stay here. They are all very trustworthy," she assured Kallen as the young woman cast a glance at Suzaku.

"Thank you, Sayoko," Nunnally interjected warmly. "If you'd just take our things up, I'm sure Kallen, Suzaku, and I would enjoy some tea in the parlor." She reached to lay a hand lightly on Sayoko's arm as the Japanese woman turned to comply. "You should come join us when you're finished."

"Thank you, my Lady."

"Um, you ladies don't really need me around do you?" Suzaku asked as the former ninja made her way up the grand staircase. "Tea parties aren't really my thing."

"Suzaku, you drink tea all the time," Nunnally protested.

Backing away with his hands up disarmingly, Suzaku smiled apologetically. "Proper Japanese green tea, Nunnally. Not that fancy flavored stuff. Jasmine and chamomile and mint." He gave a mock shudder. "I don't think I could take it."

"Oh, let him go, Nunnally," Kallen remarked casually. "He's obviously hiding something from us. I say let him." But she was looking at him with that expression that said he'd answer to her later. Well, if things went as he hoped she'd find out soon enough anyway.

Taking his chance, he turned and began jogging off before Nunnally could object. "Thank you!" he called, waving back at them.

As he closed the front door he thought he heard Kallen snort indelicately, followed by a low exclamation that sounded suspiciously like "men."

He shook his head as he made his way down the path toward the lake.

It took him a few minutes to find the spot he was looking for –he hadn't been here in a very long time after all– but when he did, he found the person he was hoping to meet already there and in the company of one other. But he had expected that.

"Lelouch."

The young man with unusual amethyst eyes and black hair long enough it would have obscured the jewel colored orbs had it been just a bit fuller, did not turn at his call, instead merely looking to his companion. His companion, a slim young woman (though Suzaku knew she was not young at all, only appeared to be so) with long apple green locks and golden eyes answered the gaze with a steady nod and then rose, slipping past Suzaku with a nod of acknowledgement, which he returned.

"I'll be around if you need me," she remarked blandly as she headed down the path, presumably to wander the grounds. He did not remind her not to go up to the house yet.

Lelouch waited until C.C. was out of sight, eyes following her path into the distance, before turning to settle on Suzaku.

"Suzaku." He had the same dramatic flair as always, the same commanding presence that he only seemed to lose when intentionally playing the fool. "It's good to see you again."

"And you." It was still somewhat surprising to find that he truly meant it. Shirley was correct, after all, he supposed: nothing was unforgivable save what one chose not to forgive. And whatever else Lelouch had been and done, he was a friend.

"Join me?" Lelouch offered.

Suzaku settled to the ground beside Lelouch, raising one knee to rest his elbow on it as he gazed out over the water. For a time, they simply sat in companionable silence, each lost in his own thoughts. It was Lelouch who finally broke the quiet.

"You've matured," he remarked. "The twenties look good on you."

In typical fashion, Suzaku ignored the compliment. "And you, you really haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Geass." Lelouch shrugged.

There seemed to be nothing to say to that, and so Suzaku allowed the conversation to die, lapsing back into silence. Suzaku closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sounds of nature around them. The chirping of birds, the buzzing of insects, the occasional blips of water as a fish surfaced or a water fowl submerged. Ordinarily these would have been soothing sounds, but Suzaku took little comfort in them today. He was about to take a risk –had already begun it, but this moment would commit him– and he was a little uncertain. Still, it was the right thing to do, of that he had no doubt. And so he would do it.

"I brought along an old friend," he said, the words heavy with meaning.

Lelouch looked up from the piece of grass he'd been twirling in his fingers. "Suzaku," he began in an admonishing tone. There was no doubt he knew what Suzaku meant – _who_ he meant.

Suzaku ignored him, pressing on. "She deserves to know the truth, Lelouch." There was a quiet pause as he let that sink in. "She still loves you, you know. Even after everything."

Lelouch's chin dropped to his chest in what Suzaku might almost have called dejection, or perhaps shame. "I don't deserve her love."

"No, you don't," Suzaku returned bluntly and Lelouch looked up at him, an expression of mild surprise etched on his face. Suzaku turned his gaze back out over the lake, leaning back on his hands, "But that's not really the point, is it? She deserves this chance." He turned sharp eyes to meet Lelouch's gaze. "So give it to her."

"Suzaku—"

"You love her?" Suzaku broke in.

Lelouch waited a long moment before giving a reluctant nod.

"Then tell her. She's waited long enough." Suzaku waited patiently while Lelouch studied the long blade of wild grass in his hand.

It was strange to watch him because it was not. Lelouch was just as he had always been. If Suzaku closed his eyes he could imagine they were seventeen again, back before the Black Rebellion, before Kamine island, before he'd known what Lelouch had become, and they were just two friends enjoying an afternoon together. It was shocking how easy it was to let the more recent past and the present slip away and live in that single span of time where they were not enemies, were not yet co-conspirators, had not both died to themselves for the sake of a better world.

Of course, Lelouch _was_ seventeen. Would always be seventeen. Physically, at least.

If it was strange now, when he was only twenty, how strange would it be in ten years, in twenty? How would it be for Lelouch who had to watch the world pass him by?

"Where is she?"

Suzaku allowed himself the smallest of smiles. He'd known Lelouch wouldn't be able to walk away. Not knowing she was waiting. Lelouch had always lived his life for those he loved rather than himself – even if the way he went about it wasn't always the best.

"In the house with Nunnally. But I'm sure she'd understand."

"Yes," Lelouch agreed. "Nunnally has always been more than understanding."

"She was so happy you were alive. Even if she might never get to see you again."

"Yes." Barely a whisper. After a moment of silence, Lelouch stood to his feet, brushing down the back of his pants to loose any unwanted plant matter. He looked down at Suzaku who was still staring out over the water. "Are you coming?" he asked softly.

"Nn. I think I'll enjoy the quiet for a bit." Suzaku paused thoughtfully. "Why don't you have Sayoko bring Nunnally down to join me?" he suggested, as though it were a careless, casual idea rather than a clear intent.

Lelouch's eyes softened. "Thank you," he murmured.

Suzaku smiled, but did not comment, and a moment later he heard Lelouch's boots swish through the long grass.

"Lelouch," he called quietly, and the sound of steps ceased. "I didn't tell her. I didn't want to get her hopes up, or take away your choice." Finally, he looked back to see amethyst eyes studying him inscrutably.

"Thank you," Lelouch repeated, and then he was gone, moving up the path toward the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! Because someone asked: there are 14 chapters to this story, with an additional 2 alternate endings - so 16 total. Also, because people seemed concerned, this story is finished in its entirety. I do not start posting a story until I've finished it. I will post once a week for 16 weeks, so if you prefer to wait until the story is fully posted that should be roughly the first week of October.

Thanks for reading!

reenas-as


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello! And thank you to all those who have read/favorited/reviewed or any combination thereof. I want to make a quick note on Lelouch's age. When I began writing this there was only the anime. If you'll recall, the many manga, the OVAs, and (I think) novels did not exist yet. To my recollection the anime never gives us Lelouch's age. Since the series was made in Japan and seemed to follow the 3 year high school rule, as Japanese schools do, the fandom generally assigned the characters the ages common in Japanese schools. Since Lelouch started out in his 2nd year, that made him 16, which means in the second season he would presumably be 17. I understand since that time they've released official ages and he was 18 at the end of R2. Um . . . I didn't even think to check that when I decided to post this story and I've already posted a chapter stating he was 17, so we're just gonna go with that. It's not like people age hugely (appearance-wise) between 17 and 18 anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

On a more serious note: this may go without saying for some of you since this story is rated M - but for those who follow me and know I don't put sex in my stories, I felt I should warn you that this one references and dances around sex. Frequently. Nothing anywhere close to explicit, but it's there. If you were hoping for explicit in an M rated story labeled romance, I apologize, you won't get it here. There are personal reasons for that, and I also interpret the rules of this site to state that I can't post explicit sex scenes, so I tried to be tasteful.

All that being said, I hope someone out there enjoys this story.

Thanks for reading,

reenas-as

XXXXX

Ch.2

 _3 years post Z.R. – June cont'd_

Lelouch stood at the door of the summer estate he and Nunnally had known well as children and tried in vain to calm the racing of his heart. Somewhere on the other side of this door was the reason he had sacrificed himself. Somewhere inside this dwelling were the beings who made his existence worth something. He had given up everything for them, and he would do it again in an instant. In the dark hours of morning, when he was weary of running or hiding his face, when he began to question all he had done, it was the thought of their laughter, their smiling faces –made possible through his necessary evils– that kept him from drowning in the darkness.

Drawing a calming breath, he knocked.

It was only because of her many years of training, he was sure, that the party who answered the door did not drop the tea pot in her hand.

"M-Master Lelouch," she breathed, the tea pot dangling from limp fingers.

Lelouch offered her a small, gentle smile, reaching to right the china in her hand. "Hello, Sayoko," he said quietly, his hand closing over hers.

She was trembling, and he felt a pang of remorse that he had not been able to tell her this. How had she suffered believing him to be dead, and herself a willing participant in his death? By his own order, but so what? He had always asked so much of her, and she had never hesitated, never complained. She was loyal to him, Lelouch, of her own will, for his sake. That was a rare treasure indeed.

"May I come in?" he prompted, still in that gentlest of voices, the one he had reserved for Nunnally in her youth.

Wordlessly, the Japanese maid stepped back, allowing him to enter the foyer.

"Umm, Nunnally," Sayoko cast a quick glance behind her, "and Mistress Kallen – they're in the parlor having tea."

Against his will his smile pulled ever so slightly wider. He had never seen Sayoko so flustered.

"Thank you, Sayoko." He took her hand, drawing her wide eyes to his. "I wonder if you could do me a favor?"

At Sayoko's answering nod he stepped forward, leaning in to quietly make his request. A moment later Sayoko was hurrying into the parlor to fulfill his wish, and two minutes after that she came back out, pushing Nunnally in her wheelchair.

Nunnally was clearly excited, though she was restraining herself.

"Lelouch, oh Lelouch," she whisper-cried as they drew near. Lelouch smiled and stepped closer, leaning in to give her a hug. "She'll be so happy," Nunnally whispered near his ear, clinging to him.

"Thank you," Lelouch whispered back. For understanding, for waiting, for giving him this moment with Kallen alone.

Nunnally pulled back with a watery smile, wiping at her eyes without shame. "You go on ahead. Suzaku, Sayoko and I will be down at the lake for a while. We might even have a picnic." She beamed up at Sayoko. "Mightn't we?"

"Yes, Milady." Sayoko bobbed a curtsey. She turned steady eyes to Lelouch. "Take all the time you need, Master Lelouch."

Lelouch accepted their generosity with a grateful bow.

"Good luck, big brother," were Nunnally's parting words. And then Lelouch was alone in the massive foyer.

He was having trouble breathing suddenly.

A few dozen meters away, only a few dozen meters, was the girl (kept there by what excuse he did not know) he'd hurt to save. The girl he loved, but had never told. Briefly he considered turning away, but even without Suzaku's admonishment he knew this was something he had to do. Hadn't he always been this way? Hadn't he always hidden his true feelings, even from himself, until it was too late? He was such a master at everything – save his own relationships. Shirley. Rolo. Kallen. His feelings toward them may have been different, but they were the same in that he'd made the mistake of never telling them just what they meant to him, of not even acknowledging it to himself. He had always been too late to realize the importance of those most devoted to him. It was too late to make things right with the other two, but Kallen . . . for Kallen he could do the right thing, make the right choice.

For the girl -the woman- who had given him her faith and her love. The woman who had held him up when everything he cared for had been torn from him. For she who had been his shield and his strength, who had forgiven him everything and been willing to die for a selfish ex-prince who only cared about his own agenda as long as she knew it _meant_ something to him. For her. . . he could do this one thing for her. He would. And if she hated him, if this one thing, after all the others, she couldn't forgive, he would have to accept that and let her move on with her life.

But if she could forgive him?

Oh, what endless possibilities therein lay.

And none of them would be his if he didn't step through that door.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

There was the softest of sounds, maybe not even a sound –the doors were so well oiled– maybe just the slightest shift in air pressure, as the door to the parlor swung open, and Kallen turned from where she'd been standing looking out the window into the rose garden (it was a beautiful rose garden she had to admit) a smile on her face and words already on her lips.

"Oh, are you back already? I was just—" The words died as her eyes fell on the figure in the doorway. Not Nunnally returning with Sayoko as she had assumed. Her eyes widened and suddenly she could not breathe.

 _Lelouch_.

No, no, she was seeing things. Lelouch was dead, she had seen him die. This could not be Lelouch.

And yet . . . and yet . . .

How many times had she seen the immortal witch die?

She didn't pretend to understand everything about Geass. She didn't even pretend to understand everything about Lelouch, who was still standing in the doorway watching her with that adorably uncertain and apologetic expression on his face.

Was it possible?

He was still there. Which meant, of course, that he was probably real.

She took one step toward him –the maybe phantom, possibly, _oh please,_ possibly, real boy just a short way across the room– and then another. And he was _still there_ , not fading at her approach as she'd feared he might.

He was _real_. He was _alive_.

She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run into his arms and kiss him until they were both breathless.

She slapped him.

"You _idiot!_ " It was difficult to see past the tears gathering in her eyes, but she made no effort to staunch them. She was too angry, too happy. "Who told you you had to protect me?" Her fists clenched convulsively as she asked the question that had haunted her ever since she had _known_. "I was the one who was supposed to protect _you_." Her head dropped. "I was supposed to protect you," she repeated more quietly, voice breaking ever so slightly. It had been so long, and it had hurt _so much_ , knowing he was dead. Knowing she had betrayed him, fought against him. Knowing that at least part of what he had done had been done for her sake. And it shouldn't have happened because she was the one who existed for _his_ sake. She had failed. He was dead and she had failed.

Except . . . he wasn't dead at all! Which was wonderful, and horrible, and _why hadn't anyone told her?!_

And Lelouch said nothing; didn't flinch, didn't protest. Gently he reached out and took both her hands in his, carefully smoothing them flat, drawing her startled gaze to his and holding it as he raised her hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the backs of her trembling fingers.

"I'm sorry." His voice was so low, so quiet, so wonderful. She hadn't heard it in _so long_ , and she had so rarely heard it like this: soft, tender, sincere, like all the truth of the world was held in those two simple words.

She hiccupped a sob. Lelouch drew her into his arms and held her, whispering soothingly to her and smoothing his hand over her hair in comfort as she began to cry in earnest.

"It's alright now," he murmured into her hair, and the wonderful thing, the _frightening_ thing, was that he was right. This one thing made everything all right again, turned every wrong thing in her world into vapor and made it vanish in a wisp of sky colored smoke.

She clutched tighter to him, hands fisting in his jacket, and sobbed even harder.

"Idiot, idiot." Her accusations were muffled against his chest, but she didn't care.

"I know." He rested his cheek atop her head, arms wrapped around her as he swayed ever so slightly as though soothing a child. "I know."

He held her like that until the overwhelming tide of shock and emotion had lessened –but not gone away, she wasn't sure this would ever go away– and when at last she had calmed he took her hand and led her to the sofa, sinking into its luxurious cushions and pulling her after him so that she was seated right beside him, nearly atop him.

"Better?" he asked.

She sniffed, shaking her head. "I'm just trying to decide who to kill first."

He arched a brow curiously.

"He could have told me!" she exclaimed in a vague attempt at clarification. "I mean, he obviously knew!"

Lelouch watched her as she waved her hands energetically, relieved to see she was herself again.

"And Nunnally," she continued. "How could she keep something like this to herself?"

"Now, now." He caught her hands in his own, running his thumbs across the backs soothingly, "Don't blame Nunnally for this. She didn't know I would be here. That was Suzaku's doing alone."

"But she knew!" Kallen protested, attempting to wrest her hands from his. Lelouch merely shifted his grip, allowing her to turn her hands until he could weave their fingers together. Kallen hardly seemed to notice in her agitation. It was rather becoming actually. She was flushed quite attractively.

"She did," he interjected calmly. "But you have to know why they didn't tell you. We couldn't let anyone know."

"Yeah, but— I'm— and— it's just not fair!" She pouted out her lower lip as she stilled, and he laughed, low and warm.

"No," he acknowledged. "I don't suppose it was. But," he admonished as she parted her lips to speak, "don't judge them too harshly. It wasn't their secret to tell."

She closed her mouth. It was the truth. It hadn't been the place of Suzaku or Nunnally to tell her, though she had a feeling they'd had some hand in this. The knowledge that Lelouch probably never would have revealed himself to her on his own was painful, but, of course, why should he? Hadn't she betrayed him in the end?

"I didn't want to hurt you anymore," Lelouch murmured, as if he had heard her thoughts. But, then, he didn't have to, he could nearly always reason out anyone's reactions – why should hers be any different? "That was why I wasn't going to tell you."

The confession revealed much and, much as it pleased her, it made her feel unaccountably awkward, perhaps because they'd rarely shared such a moment. Flustered, her gaze dropped between them and for the first time she realized the intimate way he had joined their hands. She loved him and he was _touching her_ . . .

Flushing, she looked up at him only to find his penetrating amethyst orbs fixed on her features tenderly. She could feel the heat rise in her face and attempted to pull away, but when he released her hands it was only to draw her closer by the waist. He raised one elegant, slim fingered hand (had she ever noticed their beauty before?) to sift the strands of hair around her face through his fingers wonderingly. There was too much silence; it gave her nothing to hide behind.

"What?" she demanded, embarrassment making her tone sharper than she intended.

He didn't take offense, only smiled softly, and his words, when he spoke, stole away all her hostility. "I missed you," he murmured, eyes perusing her face as though discovering something new –

a treasure he wanted to commit to memory; they lingered on her lips and his hand dropped to lightly trace their shape.

Kallen shuddered, swallowing harshly.

"Um." She shifted. Didn't he know what that did to her? "Where do you think the others went?"

"To the lake," he responded calmly, undeterred by her obvious discomfort. "We've got a while. Nunnally said something about a picnic dinner."

"Dinner?" Kallen squeaked. She glanced out toward the sun. That was hours away still. Hours alone here with Lelouch. How would she withstand it?

"Mm hmm," he hummed, fingers still tracing lightly across her features. He leaned in and brushed his nose along her jaw line and she started. "What is it?" he whispered, his breath brushing pleasantly over her skin, raising goose bumps.

"It's nothing." She shifted, but only succeeded in sliding closer to him. "It's just. You were dead. And now you're alive. I'm happy. And nervous. And I don't know what to do." She was aware that she was babbling, which was very unlike her, but she couldn't seem to stop. If she stopped talking she'd start thinking, and then she'd wonder how they got here, and what he was thinking, and if she'd ever really meant anything to him at all. Though, it seemed fairly obvious by now that she meant _something_ to him. He was here, wasn't he? And even Lelouch wasn't the sort to play with a girl's emotions like this, was he?

Lelouch pulled back, studying her seriously. He reached to cup her face with a palm.

It was so surreal, maybe because she'd never really let herself hope for this. Maybe because for so long she thought she'd missed her chance. Maybe because it was at that moment she suddenly realized that he hadn't aged a day since she'd last seen him.

 _He was beautiful_.

Finally, Lelouch seemed to reach a decision.

"I love you, Kallen Kouzuki." The sincerity in his eyes was blinding –or maybe that was just the tears that gathered in hers– and he said it like a solemn promise.

She hiccupped on a sob, but ruthlessly pushed it back – she could fall apart later, now was not the time.

"I love you, Lelouch." She threw herself at him, clinging in a hug so strong she was probably hurting him, but if that was so he gave no sign. "I love you so much."

He chuckled softly. "Well then." He pulled back slightly, tracing her hair line back behind her ear with two fingers. "I think this is one miracle that deserves a celebration, don't you?"

"Okay." The word came out somewhat breathier than she had intended because suddenly his face was very, very, near to hers.

"Okay," he agreed, and his hand shifted to hold the back of her head at the same moment his lips lowered to brush hers.

The world exploded and all she could do was cling to him for dear life.

She sighed as he pulled back from the infinitely tender brush of lips only to shift angles ever so slightly and come back in for a deliciously deeper contact. He tasted of dreams reborn and she devoured him.

His hands were everywhere, not in the hurried, frantic fumblings of an eager boy about to experience his first time, as they should have been, but in the deliberate, slow exploration of a lover recommitting every facet of his beloved to memory. Everywhere his elegant fingers brushed she burned and she arched helplessly into his touch. Even through her clothes he scorched her, branded himself and his touch into her being, and she longed desperately for _more_.

He seemed only too happy to oblige.

At some point they relocated to her room upstairs –she couldn't recall when, or who had initiated the move, probably Lelouch because she certainly didn't have the clarity of mind to suggest it– which had been a very wise move as eventually the rest of their party was bound to return to the house and she was quite sure they didn't need or want to witness this particular part of her reunion with Lelouch. Morning found them sleepy and sated, a tangled mess of bed coverings and naked limbs. It was the most wonderful thing she had ever known in her life.

She stretched, sitting up carefully so as not to jostle her bed partner. Looking down at him, she smiled. He looked so innocent asleep beside her, dark locks splayed haphazardly across the pillow and over his eyes, the sheet slinking dangerously low on his waist as it threatened to drop off the bed onto the floor, proof that appearances were deceiving – this boy was anything but innocent, last night had demonstrated that.

Her eyes traced his flawless face and then down his pale chest. He wasn't athletic, that hadn't changed, but he was still beautiful, lean and well formed despite his lack of physical strength. And he'd certainly proven he had stamina enough when it counted.

Flushing a little as scenes from the night before played through her mind, she shifted her attention to the window, staring through it absently at the bright summer sky.

This, this was perfect.

The bed shifted behind her as Lelouch stirred and a moment later lean arms wrapped around her waist. Soft lips brushed against her bare shoulder before tracing a path up her neck to her ear.

"Good morning," he breathed against her and she shivered with pleasure.

"Good morning." She leaned back into his hold, dropping her head back so that he could reach more of her throat. Kallen had never had a lover, and she assumed Lelouch hadn't either, but somehow that hadn't seemed to matter last night. They had come together perfectly and she couldn't imagine that it would have been anything less even had she had a dozen past experiences to compare it against. He was flawless – _they_ were flawless.

"I love you," he whispered.

She smiled, bringing her hand up to weave her fingers into his soft hair. "I love you too."

He hummed in pleasure against her and she sighed in answer. After a few minutes of soft exploration, Lelouch reluctantly withdrew, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. She bit back a whimper of protest, already missing his warmth. Why couldn't he just come back and do that thing with his tongue in her ear again? And then maybe he could employ the slick muscle elsewhere – though she wouldn't mind overly much if they skipped straight to the main event.

"Much as I'd love to stay here all morning, it would probably be prudent of us to make an appearance before someone comes looking for us."

Kallen flushed. She'd completely forgotten about the others. How thoughtless of her. Though she couldn't imagine they'd actually be worried. They had to have had some notion of what would happen when they arranged this. Why else would they have been out so long?

"Of course." She scrambled to stand and then froze, clutching the sheet to her.

Lelouch chuckled.

"I'll just go change in the bathroom, shall I?" he offered, a teasing light in his eye, though he refrained from stating the obvious.

"Oh, good grief." Not half a minute ago she'd been contemplating jumping his bones, and suddenly she was embarrassed? "Stay," she half ordered, standing and tossing aside the sheet. Lelouch's gaze traced her form appreciatively and she arched a brow. "Unless that's going to make it difficult for you?"

"Please," he rolled his hand expressively, "continue. I'm sure I'll catch up shortly. I'm just taking a moment to enjoy the view."

"Pervert." She scowled, swiping her shirt off the nightstand, only half serious.

"There's nothing perverted about enjoying the sight of the woman I love," he said seriously and her expression immediately softened.

"No," she agreed quietly, "I guess there isn't."

He stood smoothly, bending over to pick up his pants off the floor and she let her eyes linger on him appreciatively. No, there was nothing perverted about enjoying the sight of your lover, she thought.

"Come on." He smiled at her as he pulled on his pants. "We're never going to get out of here at this rate."

Kallen started, suddenly realizing that she'd been standing beside the bed holding her shirt. "Right," she said quickly, casting a frantic glance about the room for her bra. Something bounced lightly off her back and landed on the bed. Turning, she saw her bra sitting innocently in the center and she angled a look at Lelouch.

"Lose something?" he inquired innocently.

"Lelouch!" she cried, but they were both grinning as they hurriedly made themselves presentable and headed downstairs.


	4. Chapter 3

Ch.3

 _3 years post Z.R. - July_

Kallen had never known that three weeks could be so long and yet so short. She lived every moment to the fullest and yet, in the end, it seemed as though she should have done so much more. Her days were filled with laughter, love, and Lelouch, a combination she would have once thought impossible, but now didn't know how she had ever lived without. When she had first known that she loved him –thought that she might– back during the rebellion when he'd finally taken her into his confidence, and then even more when he'd promised to save her, she'd never imagined it would be like this.

The Lelouch she had come to know in these last weeks was less the tortured soul she'd become familiar with and more the carefree brother and student he had first pretended to be. Now she realized that perhaps those two personas had not been one truth and one a lie, but rather both a part of him. The depth of him was amazing, unfathomable, and she thought she could spend an eternity in it and still not truly known him – but she would love him better for each discovery.

Except that she did not have eternity, she only had this. The days passed swiftly despite her efforts to slow them, and before she knew it, it was nearly time to return to the real world. The thought of leaving this, leaving Lelouch, behind made her heart ache. Still, she wouldn't have traded this time together for anything in the world.

Kallen reflected on this as she stood before the eastward window in her borrowed room, holding her robe against her as though she were cold, or did not trust the ties to hold, even though neither was the case.

"Good morning." Lelouch slipped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "What are you doing out of bed already?"

Kallen let her eyes wander the rolling terrain of the grounds visible through the window. She leaned back into his warmth subconsciously as he waited for her answer.

"We're leaving tomorrow," she finally whispered.

"Mm," he hummed against her, hearing but not understanding the undertone of sadness woven through her words. These last few weeks had been a luxury, a gift he had never thought to have. Never in all his scheming and dreaming had he dared to imagine a happy ending for himself – it was for the sake of the happiness of others that he fought: first for his sister, and then for the woman in his arms. He could never thank Suzaku enough for forcing his hand.

"We're leaving tomorrow," she repeated, reaching to run her fingers through his hair. "And this will be over."

And then he understood. He stilled behind her briefly and then slid his hands down her arms, wrapping them around her waist and pulling her into his chest. "Will it?" he softly questioned.

"What do you mean?" She attempted to tip her head back to look at him, but they were too close.

"Will it be over?" He was careful to keep his tone soft, but empty. He did not want to lead her answers, wanted to know they were her own.

Tears threatened to fill her eyes and she blinked them back. What was he saying? What was he _thinking_? She wished she could see his eyes so that she would know. Lelouch's eyes never lied, not to those who really knew him – it was one of many reasons he had needed the mask.

"You know it will be," she managed to say, choking on her own sorrow.

Warm lips brushed her shoulder. "Do you want it to be over?" he asked her.

"Of course I don't!" she said angrily. "I don't want this to end, ever." Her own ferocity surprised her, but it was the truth of what she felt.

Her heart sank as Lelouch's hold fell away, and then she was facing him, his hands firm on her shoulders as his gaze met hers. "Then it won't be," he said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

Her confusion was clear in the expressive eyes he loved and his lips tipped ever so slightly upward. One hand rose to tenderly trace along her hairline and down her jaw. "Then it won't be," he repeated, stepping closer so that their bodies nearly touched, heedless of his state of undress. His eyes held hers seriously. "This wasn't a summer fling, Kallen. It wasn't reliving the past, or making up for it, or a taste of what might have been." He paused letting his words seep into her mind, into her soul. "This is real," he said quietly. "And even though I can't go with you, can't stay with you always, I'll always be waiting for you."

"What are you saying?" She was afraid to hope, afraid to misunderstand.

"I love you, Kallen Kozuki. Now. Tomorrow. In fifty years I'm still going to love you. I've lost too many people I care about, let too many chances pass me by. I'm not going to make that mistake again." Euphemia, Shirley, Rolo. Only with Kallen did his losses not haunt him. "This doesn't have to end. I'll be here as long as you want me to be."

"Really?"

Was it such a surprise? But then, he had let her think he was dead for three years. "Of course." He cupped her cheek. "Did you really think three weeks would be enough? That once I'd had you I'd ever be able to let you go?" Except he would have to, eventually, but he wasn't going to think about that, not now when she was here in his arms.

She had thought that. Had thought it was what had to happen, whether they wanted it or not. This would have to be enough, even though it wasn't at all. But, she nearly laughed aloud, how foolish had such thoughts been? This was _Lelouch_. Lelouch who made miracles happen. Lelouch who would do anything, _anything,_ for those that he loved. Of course Lelouch would not give up so easily.

She was nearly overwhelmed with gratitude.

"I love you," she whispered in wonder, blinking back tears of joy now. How irritatingly easily they came now –tears of sorrow, tears of happiness– to she who had always been so strong. But perhaps she had merely found another form of strength: the strength to be who she was and feel what she felt and not be ashamed.

Smiling, Lelouch rubbed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"So, I take it that means you'll be coming to see me?"

"Often," she promised.

"Good."

For a few moments they just stood together, Lelouch smiling serenely, Kallen thought, while she grinned dopily, too happy to put her thoughts into words. When Lelouch was satisfied that she was herself again, he took a step back from her and offered her his hand.

"Now." Lelouch waited until she placed her hand in his, palm to palm, and then wrapped his fingers over hers. "If that's all settled," he trailed off and when he spoke again it was in husky, seductive tones, his eyes beckoning her beneath heavy lids. "Come back to bed."

And Kallen joyfully complied.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

On their last day together, Lelouch and Kallen made a real effort to spend some quality time with the rest of their small circle. It wasn't that they had _ignored_ their companions the rest of their stay, but they had been understandably wrapped up in one another. No one had blamed them, but that didn't mean that their presence wasn't missed all the same. And so, after their early morning . . . endeavors, the two dressed and made their way downstairs to join the rest of the world. They spent the day down by the lake with Nunnally, Sayoko, Suzaku, and even C.C. They had a picnic lunch and then took a walk, followed by kite flying and paper boat races on the lake in the afternoon. They behaved like the carefree children they'd never had a chance to be, and it was liberating.

They all trekked home for dinner and afterwards broke into conversational pairs. Lelouch and Nunnally wandered off on their own for the first time all summer – and Kallen felt a slight pang of guilt knowing that Nunnally must have missed him just as much as she, if not more so. Sayoko took Suzaku aside hoping for news of home though, honestly, it was quite likely she was mostly trying to give them both something to do so that Lelouch and Nunnally could be alone. At some point they headed out on to the porch to converse in the light of the setting sun.

And thus Kallen found herself alone in the parlor with C.C.

Kallen had never felt particularly comfortable with Lelouch's "accomplice," even though she –unlike the others– had known all along that the girl was not his mistress. Still, there had always been more than a little mistrust between them. Perhaps because she had known how important the immortal witch truly was to Lelouch, perhaps because the other girl was fighting for her contract rather than a cause, or perhaps simply because C.C. was so different from anyone else she had ever known. Despite that, she had come to tolerate C.C.'s presence in that time after the Black Knights' recovery of Lelouch, and perhaps even respect her a bit. And so, it wasn't without sympathy that she noted the way C.C.'s eyes followed Lelouch through the window.

"I'm sorry," Kallen said quietly into the stillness.

The girl-woman turned, tilting her head curiously though her face was nearly blank.

"What for?" she asked blandly.

Kallen sighed. "For this." She gestured helplessly. "For . . . for taking him from you, I guess."

C.C favored her with a strange little half smile, though it seemed the gesture was more for herself than for Kallen's benefit. Kallen remembered asking her once if she loved Lelouch and the witch had said she didn't know. Surely she knew now. It was clear even to Kallen and she had only seen them together for small bits of time in the past weeks. It hadn't seemed to matter before, when she'd thought that this was all the time she had, but now that Lelouch had promised to wait for her –to stay for her– well, it seemed so much more selfish.

"And don't tell me you don't love him," she added. "I know you do."

There was a moment of silence.

"Yes," C.C. finally admitted, to Kallen's surprise. "But it's alright. He needs this – needs you." The witch shrugged. "And I can wait. I'll have him forever. What's a few decades to that?" Her gaze softened as she stared into the distance. "I would not withhold from him this happiness."

It was one of the few times Kallen had seen real emotion from the girl and she allowed her a moment of quiet contemplation. And then Kallen spoke.

"He loves you too, you know." Even if he didn't fully know it.

"Yes." C.C. seemed somewhat surprised, not that Lelouch might love her, but that Kallen would say so – perhaps because Kallen knew, perhaps because she was so calm about it.

"I'm not as, umm, enlightened as Kaguya was about these things," Kallen admitted quietly. "And I'll gut him if he gets any ideas about sharing or alternating or some nonsense like that." Neither woman felt the need to point out that that wasn't Lelouch's way. The man was practically obsessive in his affections. He would never have more than one lover at a time. "This isn't some sort of Lelouch timeshare." Kallen smiled, ever so slightly, sadly even. "But . . . I'm glad he'll have someone after I'm gone."

C.C.'s gaze finally met hers and for the first time Kallen felt they truly understood one another, had connected on a deeper level. And then the immortal witch parted her lips and said the last thing Kallen had ever expected.

"Thank you."

And that was that. The moment passed and they had nothing more to say to one another. After all, the only thing they had ever had in common was Lelouch – and that was hardly common ground. A moment later the others reentered the room and Lelouch stopped to say a few words to C.C., his hand brushing her shoulder casually, before he came to Kallen and ushered her up the stairs to their room. Behind them, the others still spoke in low tones, Suzaku and Nunnally laughing, Sayoko offering them coffee or tea. From the corner of her eye, Kallen saw C.C. watch them as they left and she felt the slightest pang of regret. What would it be like to have to watch Lelouch walk away with another woman who loved him? She supposed she'd find out in the morning, but, of course, it wouldn't be quite the same. Lelouch would not look at another while she lived, that she knew, so she could rest assured even knowing he spent his days with someone who loved him as much as she did, in her own way. Kallen slipped her arm through Lelouch's and let him lead her up the stairs.

Nothing would hamper this last night they had together. It would have to be enough to hold her until the next time she could get away.


	5. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

 _4 years post Z.R. - December_

A year and a half. Had it really only been a year and a half since she had last seen Lelouch? Since she had discovered he was alive and that he loved her? A year and a half since they had shared three wonderful weeks together? Sometimes she was afraid it had only been a dream. But she didn't have the imagination for that, she knew.

"You look chipper," Suzaku said as she walked in and placed a stack of reports on his desk.

She scowled down at him and he raised his hands defensively.

"Excited then?" he corrected himself.

That was marginally better, apparently, for she didn't hit him.

"I take it you're taking advantage of the Christmas holiday to get away then." Anyone overhearing might not have caught the significance of those last few words, but Kallen did and she was unable to keep the smile from creeping back onto her face.

"Two whole weeks." She didn't care if she sounded uncharacteristically girlish. She had a right to look forward to this.

Suzaku tapped a stack of papers into order, eyeing Kallen over the top of them. "Where are you headed?"

"Maybe Nunnally's."

He raised a brow. "Maybe? You don't know?"

Kallen shrugged, helping herself to the seat in front of his desk, swinging her legs over the arm like a delinquent teenager.

Suzaku stifled a grin and didn't comment. It was nice to see her in such a good mood. Heaven knew _someone_ around here deserved to be something besides stressed out of their mind, especially at Christmas.

"We can't exactly send letters or make a call, you know," she told him. "He can't die, but it'd be a pain if anyone found out."

"That's true," Suzaku conceded.

"Anyway." Her left leg was swinging like a pendulum. "I got a note saying to be at Shibuya station at 8pm on the twenty-second, and I guess we'll go from there."

"Wait a minute," Suzaku protested, he'd become suspicious in his . . . young age. Handwriting could be forged, and Kallen wasn't exactly low-profile in the world. She had enemies. Probably stalkers too. "How do you know it was from him?"

"It was from him. Trust me."

He considered pressing the issue –her safety was important to him on many levels– but then he caught the expression on her face. She looked a little . . . dreamy, maybe? And not in the innocent little girl way. On second thought, maybe he didn't want to know.

"That's good then." He deliberately turned back to his papers.

The sound of her foot hitting the chair stopped and there was a distinctive thump that might have been both feet hitting the ground, and then her hands were planted on his desk just inside his field of vision, confirming that, yes, she'd righted herself in the chair.

"You're not going to stay in the office and do paperwork all holiday are you?" she demanded.

He gestured noncommittally. "It's a good time to catch up. No one else will be here."

"What about Nunnally?"

Suzaku sighed, pushing away his paperwork. "Spending Christmas in Hong Kong with the Empress and Lady Kaguya."

"That sounds like trouble," came the wry observation from across the desk.

"Tell me about it," he said, meeting her eyes at last and noting that they sparkled with amusement. "My only relief is the knowledge that Xingke will be with them."

She snorted. "Because it isn't as though Xingke wouldn't let Tianzi do anything she pleased."

"Please," he held up one hand in protest, "I'm trying not to think about it."

She reached out to cover his hand with hers. "I'm only teasing. Much as Xingke indulges her, he's also very responsible."

"I know." But he was relieved to hear her say it anyway. His eyes wandered his desk, landing on the clock. "Say, it's getting late. Shouldn't you get going?"

She nodded and then squeezed his hand lightly. "Don't spend the whole break in here, okay?" her eyes met his and they were soft and warm. It was hard to imagine there had been a time when they had striven with all they had to take one another's lives.

"I promise."

She smiled at him and gave his hand one last squeeze, releasing his hand to take her leave.

Suzaku watched her go and then stared down at the paperwork on his desk. Hs lip curled slightly in disgust and he shoved the document immediately before him away.

"I'm going home," he told the empty room.

The paperwork would still be here when he got back. If there was one constant in his life it was paperwork.

XXX

Kallen wasn't sure what to do when she reached the station. She only had a time, not a destination, so she couldn't buy a ticket, and Shibuya station wasn't small or quiet so it wouldn't be easy to find Lelouch. Actually, she wasn't certain she'd be able to find him at all. Lelouch had been emperor of the entire freakin' planet –even if it'd only been for a few weeks– he was the definition of recognizable, which meant if he was here he'd be in disguise. She tugged fitfully at the hat keeping her equally recognizable hair hidden. Even she couldn't go out in public without something of a disguise. Which was probably why he'd had her tie an orange ribbon to her bag.

Okay, so clearly waiting was her only option here. She moved to lean against a wall, making sure the orange ribbon was clearly visible. To pass the time she alternated between dreaming up possible disguises for Lelouch –something with a bit of a dramatic flair, probably– and observing passersby, trying to determine which of them he might be.

"Ms. Gottwald?"

Kallen started at the voice so near her and turned to find a station worker smiling politely at her. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him he had the wrong person when his gaze shifted significantly to her bag and she recalled who _Gottwald_ was.

She offered an equally polite, if distant, smile. "Yes, that's me." It wasn't as though Jeremiah was going to complain. Last she'd hear he was working an orchard somewhere in old Britannia.

"This ticket was left for you."

She took the offered slip of paper mechanically, disappointment surging through her at the realization that Lelouch wasn't going to meet her himself for the trip. Which was silly, because, of course, it was safer if he didn't. She wasn't a child: she didn't need an escort and she could wait another few hours to see him.

The station worker bowed and was gone, leaving Kallen to herself. After a moment she thought to check the ticket for her train and realized she had only a few minutes to find her track and board before departure. Her fare was paid through Sakuragicho station, Yokohama. A thirty minute trip if it was her true final destination and this wasn't some sort of odd treasure hunt Lelouch had dreamed up, with himself as the prize. Which made him sound more egotistical than he was, and wasn't an accurate descriptor anyway. If Lelouch was going to run her around half of Japan it was for the safety of them both.

The train ride passed quickly. Upon disembarking she once again made sure the orange ribbon was clearly visible, and was unsurprised to be approached by another station worker who also referred to her as "Ms. Gottwald." This worker supplied her with the name of a cab company, a cab number, and exact fare to what had once been Chinatown. Waiting at the street was her cab and the driver didn't give her any trouble once she introduced herself by her alias and showed him the ribbon. The cabbie delivered her to a small Cantonese restaurant and advised her that the Hunan beef was excellent.

The restaurant was quaint: small, with a traditional Chinese design. There were only a few customers seated inside and she didn't bother to examine them for hints of her lover – it was too easy to think Lelouch might meet her here. The hostess' eyes slid over her bag and she grabbed a menu from under the seating station before guiding Kallen to a secluded seat. Kallen thanked her with a nod and opened her menu to find a handwritten note inside.

 _Ms. Gottwald,_

 _I'm sure you've not eaten dinner yet. As you've still a ways to go please enjoy this on me._

The note was unsigned and she smiled as she tucked it away in her bag, idly wondering how far "a ways" was and where her next clue would come from.

She ordered the Hunan beef and fried won tons, half expecting it to arrive with coordinates to her next destination inside, but her food appeared untouched. She did notice, however, the server having a whispered conversation before one of the busboys slipped out that back. She forced herself to have patience and finish her meal, which was actually very tasty, as she waited for her next set of instructions. No one brought her a bill, even after she finished, and she was just starting to feel antsy when an old man approached her.

His Japanese was slightly broken, with a heavy Chinese Federation accent, and she thought he was offering her a ride in a rickshaw. She turned him down twice, wondering why he didn't move on to pester the other customers.

"Ah, Ms. Gottwald," the man tsked softly, "there is no better way to see Chinatown."

So this was one of Lelouch's clues as well?

"Uh, sure. I guess you've got a point," she said, pushing to her feet.

Slightly confused, she followed him outside. If she had a ways to go surely a rickshaw was not the best way to get there, but she trusted Lelouch. The old man wound through the narrow streets with surprising stamina for someone so old, especially given how long the journey seemed to stretch. She'd had no idea Chinatown was so large, though with the many twists and turns they took they might only have been a few kilometers from the restaurant. Was this the most direct route to . . . wherever they were headed, or was Lelouch truly afraid she would be followed?

Eventually the old man stopped alongside a row of old, but decently maintained, apartments. He came back to assist her down and slipped a key into her hand with a twinkle in his eye.

"Best not to keep young man waiting, yes?"

Kallen almost frowned, but caught herself and gave a polite bow. She reached for her purse to find money for a tip, but the man waved her off. Already paid by Lelouch, no doubt. Or maybe he owed Lelouch something. Even without Geass, Lelouch had a way of bending others to his will that was rare.

She took the stairs cautiously, uncertain if the young man referenced was Lelouch or another emissary. When she reached the door that corresponded with the key in her hand and saw the clear alias on the plate though she knew it had to be him. The beginnings of a grin threatened as she slipped the key into the lock and let herself in.

"I thought you said there was a ways to go?" she questioned before she'd fully crossed the threshold. It was dark and she could only just make out his figure across the way. "We're still in Chinatown."

"Misdirection is a powerful tool, one not to be underestimated," he admonished, amethyst eyes twinkling as he turned on the lamp beside him.

"Hello, Kallen." She was beautiful, standing in his doorway, toeing off her shoes. And it had been far, far too long since they'd last been together. He couldn't wait this long again. He couldn't wait any longer now. He had to be touching her.

He rose smoothly and approached, his hand catching hers and bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. He did not release her after, instead using the connection to draw her closer to his body and further into the room.

"I've missed you," he murmured almost into her hair.

"Me too," she answered and then fell silent, unable to think of anything else to say now that she was face to face with him.

He was beautiful. Was that going to hit her anew each time she saw him again? It wasn't that she'd forgotten in their time apart, but rather that her mind seemed incapable of properly cataloguing the true depth and vibrancy of him. It didn't help that his touch on her skin set her heart off like a jackhammer. Her pulse jumped, her breath stalled, and her body burned and ached as he settled down onto the couch with her beside him. Until that moment some part of her had regretted that she'd not waited to eat until she was with him, but now she was glad such necessities were out of the way. As terrible as it might seem, now that he was before her she just wanted to curl up and lose herself in him. How like him to know her mind better than she did herself.

Although maybe in this case it was just that he was of a similar mindset.

"Is here alright?" Lelouch spoke softly against her ear, loving the shiver the action provoked. "I didn't want to seem shallow or over eager by taking you straight to the bedroom." Not that they needed to be in the bedroom for this. Lelouch had been fantasizing about having her on this couch from the moment he first saw it. It was unusually deep-seated for a couch. Uncomfortable for sitting, but perfect for two people to do other things on.

She shuddered at the word "bedroom" alone. Swallowed hard to clear the sudden lump of desire blocking her throat. "Either one is good."

Lelouch seemed satisfied with this answer and busied himself reacquainting their bodies with soft brushes of fingers and lips. Everywhere he touched burned pleasantly and it was tempting to lose herself in the sensations he stirred in her. Still, they hadn't seen one another in eighteen months and she felt obligated to make at least an attempt at conversation. She wanted to know how he'd been.

It was difficult to concentrate –his hands were everywhere, tracing her fingers, the shell of her ear, sifting through the strands of her hair– but she managed to form the simplest of questions.

"How are you?"

He drew back to see her face, head tilted inquisitively, but his hands never stilled. "Mmm. I've been alright, considering. You?"

"Good. I'm, uh," she gasped at a particularly well placed caress. "I'm good." Now that her mouth was moving the words came a little easier and she was able to make an almost meaningful response despite the fact that his lips had returned to her skin. "Suzaku's a workaholic, who complains that _I'm_ a workaholic, but you know how we are."

His lips curled against her jawline. He didn't share her need for conversation at the moment, but he would indulge her. The way things were going her concentration wouldn't last long anyway. "I'm glad you're getting along. I didn't really expect you'd stay with Zero, you know. Not with all you knew."

Kallen swallowed roughly. "I owed him. I owed you."

Lelouch only hummed against her, his lips tracing a warm path up her neck, and she struggled to find another topic. Something about _him_ , because he'd managed to turn that last question back on her fairly quickly.

Her head fell back as he continued his pursuit of her neck and she caught a flash of the building across the street with its distinctly foreign architecture. "So, uh, Yokohama? Kinda close to Tokyo, isn't it?"

That he was indulging her didn't mean he would _support_ her endeavor. The sooner they stopped talking the sooner they could occupy themselves with other things. He kissed a path up to her ear, and when that was not distraction enough, injected all of his longing into his next answer. "We least examine that which is closest at hand."

"What?" She wasn't sure if it was the words that confused her, or the fact that he'd breathed them into her ear like a dirty suggestion.

He chuckled, sending a fresh course of shudders through her.

"No one would expect me here. Not that anyone expects me at all."

Well, that was true and Kallen started to tell him so.

He didn't give her the chance, abruptly losing patience with this game of social nicety when her body told him she was as eager as he.

"Kallen?"

"Uh. Yeah?"

His cheek slid along hers as he pulled back just enough that their gazes could lock without losing focus. Her breath caught. She'd rarely seen him so serious, even in those terrible days after she'd freed him from the Emperor's Geass, when he was trying to recover Nunnally. Had _never_ seen that look coupled with the heat burning behind it now.

"Enough small talk for now, hmm?" God, please. Enough. Damn woman and her fighter-pilot laser-focus. A lesser woman would be moaning beneath him by now.

Of course, a lesser woman would not be worth his affections. Still, he was well and truly done with the conversational portion of this evening. And if he had to fight dirty to get his way, he would.

Both of his hands slipped up under her shirt as she hesitated, leaving her no choice but to concede.

"O-okay," she stammered, thoughts too scattered to even be embarrassed at the stuttering mess he'd reduced her, former Ace of the Black Knights and head body guard to the most powerful man of the world, to.

The smile he gave her was more than worth it: hungry and pleased and _devastating_. She had just enough time to return it weakly before his lips closed over hers.

It was some time before any kind of "talk" became a priority again.


	6. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

 _6 years post Z.R. – May_

Lelouch drummed his fingers against the armrest of his chair, the action absent minded rather than impatient. Not that impatience hadn't threatened earlier, before he'd distracted himself with thoughts of what Kallen might be wearing when she arrived. Her casual clothes were an odd mix of Japanese and Britannian, which complimented her mixed heritage perfectly, but it was what might be underneath that had his imagination working overtime. Lately she'd taken to buying lingerie sets especially for their meetings. At least he assumed they were especially for their meetings. It was possible that she wore them always, strictly as a matter of personal taste, but she'd never done so before. Kallen had always been the practical sort.

"Um," her hesitant opening intruded on his fantasies and beneath the low visor of his cap he could just make out sandaled feet. "There's no one else here, so, uh, you wouldn't happen to be waiting for a Ms. Shinichiro, would you?"

The faint distaste in her voice as she called herself by Tamaki's family name brought a smile to his shadowed lips and he lifted his chin enough to see the worn headband she'd wrapped around her luggage handle – the symbol of his original Black Knights.

"Hello? Are you awake?" she asked, tone tinged with irritation.

With slow deliberation he reached and tilted back his cap, allowing his gaze to meet hers as he said, "I am, actually."

Kallen barely managed to withhold a gasp of shock, and only years of conditioning kept her from darting panicked glances around the empty station.

Lelouch, the bastard, chuckled.

Kallen drew in a subtle breath, centering herself in calm. Lelouch clearly wasn't worried about being discovered here – and this was a small town, out of the way. "I didn't expect you to come yourself. Guess that means this is the last stop, huh?"

He smiled warmly, a hand reaching for her bag. "Nearly. I'm not sleeping in the station, you know."

Kallen rolled her eyes. "No? There's not much else here." She wasn't sure how far his ease extended – was it okay to call him by name here? Better to be safe and not. He still hadn't removed his cap, so clearly there was some danger of being recognized.

His empty hand sought hers and he tangled their fingers together, palms kissing lightly.

He led her out to a small car in the tiny, empty, parking lot. There was no driver, which didn't surprise her – Lelouch could pilot a knightmare frame with ease, so a little car was hardly a problem. She did wonder, though, where he'd gotten it. Wondered where he got anything, actually, what with him being "dead" and all. Of course, this was Lelouch, so it was likely he had multiple aliases, complete with forged papers, but how often could he make use of them safely? It hadn't occurred to her before, but they always met at a different apartment – even now that they were meeting every few months. And, sure, she'd traveled more than half of Japan now meeting him, but this was the age computers. Global information sharing was a breeze.

Maybe C.C. had some sort of network? The Order of Geass was gone, but surely the immortal witch had contingencies in place. Living forever would be very inconvenient if one didn't have appropriate means at hand – both monetary and intangible.

And speaking of C.C. – where was Lelouch's accomplice these days? Lelouch always met Kallen alone, of course, but there were never even any signs of a second person living with him. Did he rent apartments solely to meet with her? Was there a private place he and C.C. shared the rest of the time, or had they split up? Perhaps it was too difficult for C.C. to be near him without having him and she was bidding her time until Kallen had passed?

"What is it?" Lelouch asked. He could practically hear her thinking, but for once he didn't have any idea what had her so preoccupied. His coming to pick her up from anywhere public was unusual, but she had to have realized the emptiness of this quiet ocean hamlet allowed for that.

"Lelouch, where is C.C.?"

It was possibly the last question he expected.

"Isn't that bad form?" he asked, tone light, like this was a joke. "Asking me about another woman when I'm with you? I thought women hated that."

"Lelouch!" She hit his shoulder, a love tap really. "I'm serious."

She was, he realized. More than serious – concerned even.

One hand sought hers almost without his will and he traced her fingers lightly. "It's dangerous for us to be seen together," he finally said.

That made sense, Kallen supposed. Completely. Because C.C. was a _known_ accomplice to Lelouch, as Zero if not as the Emperor of the world. The association between them would be especially dangerous here in Japan where almost all of the original Black Knights still resided.

"Then you don't see her?" she asked, uncertain what she wanted his answer to be. She hated the thought of him passing his days with another woman, especially one who loved him as much as she did. But she also hated the thought of either of the two immortals being alone.

He shrugged. "Sometimes. There's a place in the E.U. we can go. It's quiet, out of the way. We can spend months there without any interference."

"Isn't that lonely?"

"Less lonely than elsewhere." Was that what she was worried about? How sweet. And unnecessary. He hadn't even expected to live through the Zero Requiem, let alone have another chance at happiness. A little loneliness was a small price to pay for the chance to be with her in these fleeting moments.

"Then why not stay there all the time?"

He maneuvered off the highway and down the winding road that led to the seaside bungalow he'd procured for this trip. "C.C. doesn't want to. She's been a little odd the last few years. She says she misses the world. That's only a half-truth, but I've learned not to push her."

Kallen bit her lip while he was focused on parking the car beside a quaint little bungalow that must be where they were going to stay for the next week. So Lelouch still didn't know then. That C.C. was in love with him. He didn't know because he didn't want to know, she surmised. Though he had always been a little dense when it came the attachment others felt toward him. And C.C. wouldn't have told him, because she didn't want to put him in a position where he had to choose. That was probably easier if she maintained some distance.

Kallen was glad they hadn't abandoned one another entirely though.

"Is that it then?"

"Huh?" She was startled to find him standing beside her with the car door open and a hand extended to assist her.

"Was there anything else you wanted to know? About C.C.?" She wouldn't ask for specifics about his daily life, he knew. She knew better than that. It was too dangerous. And, anyway, he didn't have much in the way of specifics to offer. The life of an immortal was, of necessity, one of a drifter. More so for him who was still known and who had suffered such a public "death".

"Oh, uh no." Yes. There was so much she wanted to know. About C.C., about Lelouch, about his life away from her. But she couldn't ask. It wasn't safe.

He smiled at her as her hand found his and he used the momentum of her exit from the vehicle to pull her body into his.

"Good. Because there are other things I'd like to . . . discuss."

His voice had gone low and seductive. His bedroom voice. And Kallen surrendered to the kiss he initiated.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was mid-day, but the bedroom was dim, bright sun held at bay by the heavy curtains drawn over the windows. In the artificial twilight, Kallen allowed her fingers to play absently over the naked body of her lover. On his chest, where "Zero" had run him through, was a wing shaped scar – the mark of Geass.

"How did you survive?" she asked. She'd seen the scar many times now, but had never asked about it. Had never even thought to, but now she suddenly wanted to know. Or perhaps it wasn't so sudden – it had been nagging at her for the last few days. Maybe because she'd been thinking about C.C. so much this trip. Maybe because she'd been thinking of immortality in general.

"Hmmm?" Lelouch stirred and turned to face her.

She traced the scar deliberately. "I never asked how it happened. How you survived. How did you?"

It didn't surprise him that she would ask, though perhaps a bit that she had asked so late in their re-acquaintance. He wasn't sure he had an answer, even now. He had a theory, but even C.C. wasn't able to confirm it. His survival went against every rule of Geass she knew. He had not taken any code and so he should have died.

Only it was possible he had taken a code without intending to. He had technically killed his father, bearer of V.V.'s code. But if he had acquired his father's code then he should not have been able to use his Geass in the months after.

Unless, the transfer of the code didn't work as the Order believed. Lelouch's theory was that perhaps the Geass code had lain dormant inside of him until triggered by the mortal wound Suzaku, in the guise of Zero, delivered to him, thus awarding him immortality, but allowing use of his Geass in the interim.

That, of course, would mean very little to Kallen who knew almost nothing about Geass aside from what she'd seen of his power.

His hand sought hers, twining their fingers against his chest.

"You know about the power given to me by Geass?"

She nodded, despite the fact they both knew it was a rhetorical question.

"Geass is also what has made C.C. immortal."

Kallen's lips quirked crookedly. "That much I'd surmised on my own." Her fingers traced his scar knowingly.

Lelouch nodded. Kallen was no strategist, but her sharp mind was a good part of what attracted him to her. "There are rules governing Geass. An immortal has no power of their own, but they can award it to others. And an immortal can only be killed by one to whom Geass power has been gifted. Because only one with the power of Geass can extract from them their immortal code."

Kallen frowned. "So it's like . . . a transfer? The Geass power makes you enough like them that their power can be transferred to you?"

"That's an accurate summation."

Her fingers tightened on his. "You didn't kill C.C. She's still here."

He shook his head. "There were others. An entire Order." He swallowed hard against his reluctance to tell her this part. He still believed it had been necessary. That the world was better if the power of Geass vanished, but he wasn't sure she would understand. In her own way she was as much an idealist as Suzaku had been before their partnership. "I had the Black Knights destroy them all."

She remembered the recording Kinoshita had left with Asahina. The one that had been instrumental in turning so many of the Black Knights against Lelouch when his identity was revealed. "The secret mission," she murmured.

He nodded and she squeezed his hand, trying to convey that it was alright. She didn't always agree with his methods, but she truly believed Lelouch had the best interests of the world at heart.

"You killed an immortal there?"

"No." Imortals couldn't be killed by a Knightmare, not even with a Geass wielder at the controls. If there had been any code holders at the Geass Directorate, they had survived.

"There were others?"

He shook his head to clear away the memories and the questions that still lingered. Later. He could ask C.C. if there were other immortals later. If she even knew.

"The Emperor bore a code," he confessed.

"And you gained it when you killed him?" So then, he'd actually done it with his own hands? She'd always wondered. She was as little impressed.

He nodded. "Probably."

She frowned as she recalled the rules he'd only just told her. "But you killed him months before the Zero Requiem. You couldn't use your power all that time? How did you turn the Britannian nobles without Geass?"

"I still had Geass."

She sucked in a breath. "You were keeping him alive?" Where? How? The only place would have been the Imperial city, but that was destroyed with a F.L.E.I.J.A. Had Lelouch already moved Charles to Japan by then?

"No."

She frowned as her thoughts stumbled to a halt. "Then how?"

"I don't know much about how Geass power transfers. I don't even think C.C. knows, and she was head of the Order for a long time. What I do know is that the one time I saw the transfer happen it was immediately followed by what should have been a mortal wound. I think for C.C. it was the same. I think perhaps that . . . triggers it." It made the most sense. His father had already taken V.V.'s code when Lelouch ordered him to shoot himself, and yet he'd done it. Geass wasn't supposed to work on those with the code, but it had worked on Charles, he knew it had, until the moment that fatal shot was fired. And then it hadn't and Charles had become immortal.

"You didn't know," Kallen realized. That made it easier to reconcile. The look she'd seen in his eyes that day –the day of his "death"– it was not the look of someone who planned to keep on living. He truly had thought he would die. Had been willing to die.

"I didn't," he murmured. "My father's death was not . . . conventional." Certainly not direct. And he had no knowledge of how the transfer of the code took place. He'd assumed there would be conditions. Physical contact at the very least. And then, it wasn't as though that had been his primary concern at the time. He'd just learned that his mother, his sweet, gentle mother, had not been who he'd thought. He'd felt betrayed by her. By them. Their selfish ambition; their hypocrisy; their lies.

Kallen's fingers tightening on his drew his attention from his musings. She tilted her head to press their foreheads together.

"It's okay," she whispered, intent. "It's okay."

There were tears pooling in the corners of her eyes and only then did he realize he was gasping for breath. His chest was painfully tight.

Why? He'd hated his father for so long – why would the memory of that man's well deserved death cause him pain? Unless it was for the accompanying death of the dream that had been his mother's memory. Had he ever really dealt with that grief?

No. There'd been too much to do. And Suzaku spurring him on with pitiless determination.

"I love you," she murmured, and then her lips found his. It was the best comfort she could have offered. The only one that made any difference. Because, in the end, she was what had kept him going. Without her, even Suzaku's iron will would not have been enough to keep him from giving up.

This was the world he had made for Nunnally and Kallen. And it was worth every sacrifice he'd had to make.

His hands shifted, finding purchase on her back, and he rolled them so that he hovered above her.

"Thank you," he breathed against the tantalizing bare stretch of her neck. "You have no idea what you mean to me."

No. Because she'd only asked him once and he hadn't answered. After all this time he still hadn't. Maybe that was why, instead of asking, she guided his head up to kiss him again. "Show me?"

And he did. Again and again and again. Drowning the memories in her

A/N: I'm so sorry I missed posting last week. I had work issues and car trouble and was getting ready for Otakon, and I didn't even realize I hadn't posted until I was at Otakon. To make it up to you I'm posting two chapters today.

Thanks for reading,

reenas-as


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Two chapters were posted this evening, so if you haven't read chapter 5 yet (posted item #6 since I have a prologue) go back and read that first. Thanks! Also, these two chapters are essentially unedited because I was in a hurry to post them in the little free time I have this week. My apologies for any typos.

reenas-as

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ch. 6

 _8 years post Z.R. – June_

Kallen stumbled against the wall as she hopped on one foot and left her shoulder there for support. Damn shoes. How could something with so little substance be so hard to put on? She hadn't had nearly so much trouble with the first one – though at that point her other foot had been bare and therefore a much more stable platform. She managed to wedge her heel into the strappy stiletto and smiled in triumph. She straightened and smoothed her hands over her dress, pleased she hadn't damaged it in her epic battle with the shoes. Turning, she faced her full length mirror and studied her reflection critically.

Lelouch had excellent taste. She never would have guessed from those gaudy costumes he wore as Zero and during his brief rule as Emperor. Of course, those had been just that: costumes. His casual wear, the few times she'd seen him in it on campus, had been nice.

Her eyes roved her reflection once more, catching on the note she'd wedged in the mirror's frame. The one he'd sent with the outfit.

The giddy, girlish smile she'd been fighting ever since the package had arrived an hour before stole onto her face without her permission. Giving up, she indulged it and picked up the note to read it again.

 _Dinner at 8:00?_

She turned a circle and dropped onto the end of her bed. It was 7:53pm now, and he hadn't given her a location or any other hint, so she was expecting someone at the door any minute now – a courier, a cab driver, s _omeone_.

At precisely 8:00pm the doorbell rang and Kallen practically flew to the door.

It had only been three months since she had last seen him, but she was still excited. It was rare they did anything spontaneous. All their meetings were carefully planned through covert missives. She didn't know why he wanted to meet again so soon, but she didn't care. She wanted as much time with him as she could get. And, really, wasn't that what being in love was all about? Every minute away from him was a minute wasted.

She took a moment to compose herself outside the door only to find it wasted when she stumbled immediately after.

"L— _you_ ," she breathed, almost slipping because it was _Lelouch_ and she'd never, ever expected to see him at her door – or in Tokyo at all. He was in disguise, or course, and it was a good one, but after all this time she knew him. A wig and new outfit wasn't enough to mask him from her. There was something about the way he carried himself even while standing still, something in the tilt of his chin and the look in his eyes.

Said eyes sparkled as he smiled down at her, clearly enjoying her surprise.

"Ms. Kozuki." He bowed. "I wonder if I might entice you to join me for dinner." She blinked at him, baffled, and he took a moment to savor the expression. It was not often even he managed to catch Kallen off guard, and when he did she typically reacted in anger or anxiety, not this dumbfounded, shy pleasure. The blush that stained her cheeks was quite becoming.

"Uh, sure," she said when her brain finally caught up enough to realize what he'd asked. "Let me— uh, I need my bag."

Lelouch waited patiently while she retrieved the small clutch he'd included with the dress and shoes. Her gaze lingered on him as she returned and took the arm he offered. He knew she was wondering, but she wouldn't ask. And he couldn't say anything. Not here. Tokyo was dangerous. He'd not set foot in the city or the settlement since his "death," but tonight was special. Tonight was worth the risk. And there was no reason for anyone to look for a dead man here, so many years after the fact. His disguise should be more than sufficient.

He handed her into the understated car he'd rented for the night and deftly maneuvered them through the streets.

She studied him as he drove, impressed at the ease with which he navigated the streets he'd not seen in almost a decade. But, of course, this was Lelouch. He probably had a photographic memory on top of his genius intellect.

"Alright, Kallen?" he asked.

Startled, she blinked, and realized she'd been staring. She forced a smile and leaned back in her seat. "Better than alright. Just wondering what you're doing here. I kind of expected more cloak and dagger, you know? I figured we'd be eating at midnight somewhere up in the mountains or out in the country."

"But you're dressed so nicely," he teased, "it'd be a shame to keep such beauty hidden away." They stopped at a red light and he allowed his eyes to briefly stray from the road in favor of tracing the lean lines and generous curves of her figure. He loved that she still blushed when he did that. He turned his attention back in time to see the light change and drove a bit further before make the turn into the parking structure.

"We're here," he told her as he took a conveniently empty stall.

Kallen unbuckled her seat belt and frowned. A parking garage. So they were somewhere downtown. She hadn't been paying enough attention to see what they had passed on the street below. The cars in the garage were mostly luxury models though, and they were both in formal attire, so they must be in the nicer section of town. That ruled out a hole in the wall where it would be easy to hide. Although, there was something to be said for hiding in plain sight – Suzaku did it every day.

Lelouch came around and opened her door, offering his arm once more. It was less than a block to their destination and he took it at a leisurely pace.

"Where are we going?" she asked. "Because, you know, cute as they are, I'm not loving the thought of a hike in these heels."

Lelouch grinned. Kallen would always be Kallen, no matter how long she lived, no matter how embroiled in politics and diplomacy her life became. He loved that about her. She was pure.

"We're here."

"Oh," she looked around, surprised once more. "This is . . . um, this is my favorite restaurant." Her favorite very nice restaurant. Which explained the formal clothes. Coincidence? Or had he weaseled the information out of Suzaku? The man who was technically her boss hadn't seemed any different than usual today. Certainly not like someone keeping a secret from her. But, then, Suzaku kept secrets for a living.

Lelouch smiled. "I know." He hadn't meant it as anything more than a casual observation, but this close to her, fingers touching the bare skin of her arm, her form pressed against his side as he escorted her up the short walk, it somehow came out more seductive than he'd intended: low, husky, _needy_. She shivered against him despite the warmth of the night and he almost wished they'd stayed in her apartment instead of coming out. But there was time enough for that later. Right now he had a plan. And it started with dinner in a dark, quiet corner of _Chez Levou_.

Maybe it was because he was preoccupied with sticking to _the plan_ that he didn't notice her unusual silence until after they had ordered their meals and been served drinks. Or maybe it was because he'd been reading the menu. Either way, it wasn't until the silence settled after the waiter left that he realized they'd hardly spoken to one another since they sat down.

"Kallen?"

She didn't respond, though she wasn't actually ignoring him. Her eyes traced his features with an intensity that could only mean her focus was entirely on him. He liked it. But he wanted more than her rapt attention, he wanted her here with him.

"Kallen?" He reached across to take her hand and brush his thumbs over her knuckles.

His voice and touch startled her from her reverie. "What?"

Lelouch smiled, his thumb making another shiver-inducing pass over the backs of her fingers. And it amazed her that after all they'd done together he could still set every nerve in her body on fire with a simple, innocent touch.

"You were somewhere else," he said. "What are you thinking about?"

She flushed. "Oh, sorry. It's nothing." She'd been thinking about him, and, though she wasn't ashamed to admit it to him, the particular track of her thoughts was one best not brought up in the presence of unknown ears. Truthfully she'd been contemplating his disguise. He looked strange in the slightly curly blond wig and pale suit –he'd always favored darker clothing. Looking at him she was almost reminded of one of his brothers, Schneizel or Clovis, but his eyes were still the jeweled depths she loved.

Lelouch arched a brow. "Nothing?" He could guess what had her preoccupied –her gaze kept wandering to his wig– but he enjoyed watching the pink flush stain her cheeks.

Heat flooded her cheeks, and no doubt color with it, and she settled for an innocuous, "I was thinking how much you've changed." And then, because she wanted to make sure he understood what she meant, even if she didn't want anyone else to, and also because embarrassment didn't sit well with her, she said cheekily, "I like the new haircut."

He grinned. "Do you? I thought it was time for something different."

Their dinner arrived, interrupting the pleasant banter, and for a time they made light, vague, conversation about recent events in their lives between bites. When dessert arrived –which Lelouch had insisted upon even when Kallen tried to politely decline, but that was alright because she really did love the mocha crème brulee that was the house specialty– they fell silent, Kallen enjoying her treat and Lelouch absently sipping coffee. It took her several minutes to realize he was staring at her. The soft smile on his face drew her curiosity.

She pushed away the remnants of her dessert and tilted her head inquisitively. "What is it?" she asked.

Lelouch shook his head, his hand closing the distance between them to finger a lock of her hair. "You truly are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he murmured.

Kallen flushed. Honestly, he had to stop doing that – she could direct Knightmare traffic the way he was going tonight. It wasn't that Lelouch was ever stingy with compliments or affection, but he wasn't an overly sentimental person –he was too analytical for that– so it still caught her off guard when he made such statements so simply.

Lelouch heard the catch in her breath, saw the color in her cheeks and the sheen in her bright eyes, and knew his words had touched her. How strange that such a simple fact could put her so off balance. She couldn't be surprised; he'd already told her she was beautiful tonight. Her reaction piqued his curiosity, made him want to take her away and whisper other truths against her skin simply to watch how they altered her. However, the statement had done as intended and set the mood for the next step of his plan.

His hand slid into his pocket and he pulled out a small package. She watched, curious, as he set it in front of her.

"What's this?" she asked, already reaching for it.

"It's our anniversary."

Kallen paused. "What?"

His smile quirked upwards on one side. "Today is the fifth anniversary of our reunion at the lake estate."

All the air seemed to have stolen from the room – or maybe it was her lungs, because Lelouch seemed to be breathing just fine. Lelouch nudged the tiny package with slim fingers and she realized she'd frozen with only her fingertips touching the silvery paper. She swallowed and took hold. It would be rude not to open it.

She couldn't believe she'd forgotten. Though, of the two of them, he was least likely to forget because he was _Lelouch_ and even without a schedule to keep she was sure he remembered everything, always. She couldn't imagine him ever scrambling for a calendar or struggling to remind himself of the date, though, by rights, he had very little reason to keep track most of the time.

The box opened to reveal a delicate hair clip in traditional Japanese style and she ghosted her fingers across the intricate craftsmanship before looking up at him in question.

"It suited you," he said.

Tears threatened again and she forced them back with a genuine, if shaky, smile. "Thank you," she said, clutching the gift to her chest. "I didn't get you anything," she realized aloud.

Lelouch smiled, his hand reaching to possess her free one. "I already have everything I need." She watched, breathless once more, as he lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to the backs of her fingers.

Her sharp intake of breath was enough to let Lelouch know that his touch was affecting her. Her face was blank, smooth porcelain, but the flesh around the edges of the neckline of her dress was rosy. Perhaps it was time to move this celebration elsewhere.

Kallen swallowed against the lump that had suddenly lodged in her throat, equal parts sentiment and desire. "Do you want to get out of here?" She wanted him. Now. How many times had she pictured them, naked and tangled in the sheets of her bed, knowing it could never happen? And now, just this once, it could. Suddenly it seemed a waste to spend even a single moment more here.

Lelouch stood, using their joined hands to maneuver her up and to his side, eyes twinkling with joy and love. "I thought you'd never ask."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They made love for hours, stopping only when daylight peeked around the edges of her heavy drapes. Kallen didn't want to fall asleep, but her body eventually demanded rest and she drifted off reluctantly, limbs still tangled in Lelouch's. He pressed a last, lingering kiss to the crown of her head and followed after her.

Lelouch awoke only a few hours later, judging by the angle of the light filtering in around the curtains, to the soft press of lips on the smooth planes of his chest. He released a soft groan, part sleepiness, part pleasure, and threaded gentle fingers into his lover's fiery locks.

She peered up at him, chin resting lightly against his sternum, and smiled. "Good morning."

He hummed an acknowledgement and then used the hand tangled in her hair to direct her up to his lips for a long kiss. She came without hesitation, sinking into his embrace.

She would never get tired of the feeling of his bare flesh against hers, Kallen decided as her breath caught in her throat. Lelouch's tongue danced with hers in deep, soul reaching strokes, and she answered in kind. It seemed impossible, but her love for him only grew with the passing of years, no matter how much they were apart.

"Kallen." Lelouch's lips left hers to murmur her name like a prayer and he urged her hips with trembling hands to take their proper place above him and fit them together.

Kallen's head fell back with a gasp. Perfect. He was perfect. Just as perfect as the first time. More. Every time more. The moved together in flawless rhythm, rising and cresting and rising again. She lost count of how many times. For a guy who'd failed P.E., Lelouch had a hell of a lot of stamina when it came to this. Although, she supposed that could be thanks to Geass. Immortality and zero refractory period. It sounded perverted when she thought about it like that, but she had to admit she loved it. Loved that they couldn't get enough of each other.

The thought sobered her somewhat, and as the remnants of her most recent orgasm faded she rolled to snuggle into his side. This was good too, she thought. She could lay forever with him like this and be happy.

"How long?" she whispered, fingers sweeping across his chest.

Lelouch lifted his head slightly to look down at her, eyes sleepy and sated once more.

"How long before Suzaku sends out a search party?" he teased as answer. She laughed, as he'd wanted, eyes brightening briefly. But soon those beautiful depths were solemn again.

"Will you stay the weekend?"

He nodded. He'd stay forever if he could, but they both knew that was impossible.

His fingers found her hair again of their own volition and he studied them, pale flesh tangled in burgundy, as though stained with wine.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Kallen's palms flattened on his chest and she levered herself up to peer down into his eyes. "Lelouch?"

He closed his eyes against the pain stirring in his heart, but opened them when a soft palm cupped his cheek.

Kallen worried her lip as she studied him, feeling guilty for ushering in this somber atmosphere.

Lelouch smiled at her and turned his head under her hand to kiss the warm flesh. His eyes held hers.

"I can't give you what you deserve," he began. She opened her mouth to protest and he silenced her with a gentle nip to the hand he had captured. "I can't give you a normal romance. Can't give you dates every weekend. Can't give you marriage, a fancy wedding, or children." His breath escaped in a shudder of anguish, his hand tightening around hers. "I'm dead to the world, and so those things are impossible." He smiled, and it was a melancholy thing; his eyes shimmered with the threat of tears she'd so rarely seen him shed. "I can't even be with you always," he whispered, full of remorse.

Kallen's heart clenched in her chest. Did he think he was depriving her of something? Holding her back? She didn't need normal. She only needed him. "Just promise me moments like these," she whispered, burrowing into his chest, "as often as possible."

His form relaxed under hers and his hand smoothed over her unruly locks. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Until the day you die," he promised.

It was a sobering thought. She would age, and he would not, and one day, she'd leave him behind entirely. What would it be like when she was thirty, forty, seventy, and he was still seventeen? Well, no one would know anyway, and she certainly didn't care, so maybe it didn't matter. She didn't think it would matter to Lelouch either. Still, she had to concede that the thought was strange.

"I love you," she said.

Lelouch's hand flexed against the curve of her skull. "I love you, too. More than you'll ever know."

But she did know. He'd sacrificed so much –been willing to sacrifice everything– for her. He'd risked her hatred to save her. She blinked back the tears that threatened and instead found a smile for him, rising on her elbows to share it with him.

"Show me?" she asked, as had become her habit, and then she rolled them, wrapping her legs around his waist as he settled above her.

Lelouch's lashes fluttered as he studied her, and then an answering smile quirked his lips. "Alright."


	8. Chapter 7

CH 7

 _34 years post Z.R. – April_

Suzaku watched Kallen across the office with a growing sense of amusement. She'd been toying with that same form for the last thirty minutes, but he doubted she'd noticed.

"You can go now, if you want," he said.

Kallen's head jerked up and she flushed when she realized her boss was staring at her, lips quirked in amusement. Her gaze darted to the clock and her flush deepened. How long had her mind been wandering? She had work to do before her vacation.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

Suzaku chuckled. After all these years Kallen still had the most overdeveloped sense of responsibility of anyone he'd ever met – except, possibly, himself. But that was neither here nor there.

"Kallen, just go. The paperwork will wait."

She shook her head, stubborn as ever. "No. I have time to finish these."

He let her try a few more minutes, long enough to finish the packet in her hands, and then he rose and crossed the room to place a palm flat against the stack of unfinished paperwork before she could take another.

Kallen blinked at his hand, as though struggling to comprehend where it had come from, before scowling up at him.

"Suzaku," she growled, a warning. Damn man. She was only trying to do her job, which was to make his job easier. After almost thirty five years together he should understand at least that, shouldn't he?

Suzaku, unfazed, maintained his gentle smile. "Kallen, just go. I've got this. It's not like you don't deserve the break."

She frowned. "My train isn't until seven thirty anyway." She tugged at the corner of a page experimentally, but the pressure exerted by Suzaku's deceptively relaxed hand was enough that she knew it would tear if she applied more force. She sat back with a sigh and crossed her arms.

His smile deepened with satisfaction and he propped a slim hip against the edge of her desk. The stance was casual, but she didn't miss the fact that it kept him firmly between her and her work.

"Going on another treasure hunt?" he asked.

She shook her head, relenting at last, because if there was one person she couldn't out-stubborn, it was Suzaku Kurarugi. "He's picking me up in Narita."

Suzaku's brow arched involuntarily. Narita was barely outside of Tokyo. Granted its population density made it an easy place to get lost in a crowd, but it also meant one never knew who they'd run into.

Kallen noted his confusion and shrugged. "We can be less careful now."

He considered this and nodded at length. It was true enough, he supposed. It was thirty-four years now since Emperor Lelouch had died at Zero's hand – thirty-four highly eventful years. Most people probably didn't even remember what he'd looked like, and they certainly wouldn't expect him to still be seventeen years old. Even if someone noticed, they'd most likely think it an unfortunate resemblance and let it go at that.

"Go home, Kallen," he said, gentle. "Eat a snack, take a nap, re-pack your bag for the thirty-seventh time." She made a face and he grinned. "I can do without you for an extra hour, I promise."

Kallen worried her lip as she considered. She really should stay.

"Do I have to make that an order?" he asked, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Knight of Zero, I hereby order you to take the rest of the day off." And then, because he knew she'd protest if he gave her the chance, he took her by the shoulders and pulled her from her chair, pushing her toward the door. Once she'd crossed the threshold he withdrew and swiftly locked the door behind her.

"Have a good vacation," he called through the solid wood panels. "See you in a week!"

Kallen scowled at the door for a moment, almost unable to believe he'd actually done that, except that he was _Suzaku_ , so of course he had. She had half a mind to find the spare key and let herself back in. Except he was technically her boss and he'd _ordered_ her home. Her scowl transformed into the beginnings of a smile.

What the hell. She wasn't getting much work done anyway. Time to go home and take a nap – she would appreciate it later.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

Kallen sent a quick text when the train pulled in at the station and then exited toward the pick-up lot. There was a sharp honk almost immediately and she turned towards it, easily locating the red car Lelouch was driving. He had a baseball cap pulled low on his forehead, but other than that he was without disguise. What she'd told Suzaku was the truth – he really didn't have to be so careful anymore.

Lelouch reached across to unlock the passenger door as Kallen approached and waited until she was comfortable and her seatbelt was secure before leaning in to press a welcoming kiss to her lips.

"Mm," she hummed in appreciation. "Hi."

He smiled at her. "Hi yourself." There was a line forming behind them and he quickly put the car in gear and eased into the flow of traffic leaving the station. "Shall we head to my flat or did you want to stop somewhere for dinner first?"

Kallen considered this. While it was true that Lelouch could safely be out in public now, it was rare they went out. It was probably better that way. Now in her early fifties, she was beginning to show her age, and Lelouch was eternally youthful as ever. She'd probably be arrested for intent to seduce a minor.

Besides, she'd gotten used to having him all to herself over the years. She didn't want to share him with the world for even a moment if she could help it.

"Let's call for take-out."

Lelouch smiled and reached to lace their fingers together as he maneuvered one-handed through the busy streets. "That Thai place you liked is still in business. I checked."

That was a pleasant surprise. It had been almost a decade since they'd last been in Narita.

"Sounds good," she said.

A decade since Narita, she mused, and almost 31 years since their romance started. She wondered if she'd really believed, when all this had begun, that it would last this long. She'd wanted it to, of course, with a romantic's willful idealism. But the years of secrecy, the periods of separation that sometimes lasted for months – deep down she'd expected to grow weary of it all eventually. People fell out of love everyday even under less difficult circumstances. Somehow she'd forgotten that neither she nor Lelouch were ordinary people. Honestly, sometimes she wasn't sure Lelouch was a person at all, ordinary or otherwise. He seemed more like a force of nature, a typhoon, or perhaps something more versatile like the wind: by turns gentle and violent, but always unrelenting, and one way or another turning the world to his will.

"Kallen?"

The way he looked at her made her breath catch in her chest. Men fought wars for the sake of that kind of look.

She smiled. "Just thinking how long it's been since we were last here."

An answering grin stretched his lips as he turned his attention back to the road. "Ten years is a long time. The rest of Narita must agree with your taste in Thai food."

"Are you saying you don't?" she asked, brow arching in challenge.

He laughed. "I know better than to argue with Kallen Kozuki, don't I?" She stuck her tongue out at him and he let himself relax fully. He'd been a little worried when she'd zoned out like that. 51 wasn't old, but it wasn't young either, and she'd led a stressful life, especially in those early years. It reminded him that he would lose her one day – that it was possible they'd spent more years together than they had left now. It was painful, and he tried not to think about it, but sometimes the fears crept in. He loved her. The weeks between their meetings were torment and he wondered how he would survive her loss.

"Lelouch?"

He shook his head, smiling. "Sorry. I shouldn't drift off so soon after scolding you, huh?"

"Was that what you were trying to do?"

"Teasing you, then," he corrected.

She smiled and leaned across the space between their seats to rest her head on his shoulder. "Mou, everyone's picking on me today. First Suzaku, now you."

He tilted his head slightly to press against her hair. "What did Suzaku tease you about?"

Her lips stretched in a wry smile. "Apparently I have difficulty concentrating when I know you're only a few hours away."

He turned briefly to kiss the top of her head. "Is that right? It's nice to know I'm not the only one."

"You have difficulty concentrating before our meetings?"

"That surprises you? I miss you too, you know."

She shook her head. "No. I mean, yes, I knew you missed me. But you're always collected, Lelouch." Even when the world was falling apart all around him, Lelouch held it together. She'd only seen him fail to do so once. And that was under much more serious circumstances.

"It isn't as though I have much to occupy my time anymore."

Her gaze narrowed. "Lelouch Lamperouge vi Britannia – Are you saying you only look forward to seeing me because you're bored?"

He threw back his head and laughed, rich and honest and warm, and Kallen smiled. He was contagious. Everything about him had always been contagious: his passion, his sorrow, his resolve –

somehow he had the ability to take those things and implant them in the hearts of others. And it had nothing to do with Geass. It was pure, raw, charisma. If his mother hadn't arranged her own death, if he'd never been sent to Japan, he might be ruling Britannia now. She didn't see how any of his siblings could have outstripped him.

His hand caught hers as he quieted and he raised them to his lips to press a kiss there. "You, Kallen Kozuki, are far more than an escape from boredom. And I would look forward to time spent with you in any world." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "But especially in this one where I am, usually, quite bored."

She pulled her hand free of his grasp to thump him on the shoulder and he laughed again.

"You're lucky I love you."

"I really am," he murmured, remembering those years when he'd been without her and the hours spent agonizing over their sure return.

He pulled into the space reserved for his vehicle and studied her for a moment.

"What?" she asked, ever uncomfortable with silence and scrutiny, even after so many years with him.

He let his hand drift to brush the backs of his fingers along the curve of her cheek. Then, struck with a fey mood, he unbuckled his belt, opened his door, and darted around the car to open hers. She had managed to release her seatbelt and untangle the strap of her bag from her feet, so he stretched his hand out to pull her to her feet. She looked at him in askance, but took his hand willingly. He grinned and then released her hand in favor of positioning his arms at her knees and shoulders. He lifted her cleanly into a bridal carry.

"Lelouch!" she gasped. "Put me down."

He chuckled and kicked the door shut with one foot. "I'll put you down in the flat."

"The fl— Lelouch, no!"

He arched a brow. "You'll wake the neighbors."

"I'm pretty sure most of them aren't in bed at 8:30pm, Lelouch, unless you've rented space at the local preschool."

He shrugged, a little awkwardly considering she was still in his arms. "Attract their attention then."

She quieted, but still struggled and he grunted as her elbow dug into his ribs.

"See, I'm too heavy. Put me down."

"You're not too heavy. You're squirming. Settle down." He jostled her lightly, rearranging her to a more comfortable position in his arm. "Put your arms around my neck."

She did so with obvious reluctance and then buried her head in the curve of his shoulder. "What is wrong with you?" she muttered against his skin.

"Nothing."

"The neighbors are going to talk," she warned.

"About what? They'll think we're newlyweds. Anyway, it's not like we're keeping them."

True enough, she supposed, but . . . "Honestly, what's gotten into you?"

He smiled down at her. "I love you."

"I'm aware."

"Most women would consider this romantic, Kallen."

"Most women aren't dating men who look like string beans. Honestly, Lelouch," she shifted to try to look at his arms, but they were mostly beneath her, which made it difficult, "you don't look like you've been working out. Are you going to drop me?"

"Only if you keep wriggling like an earthworm." She scowled and his grin widened. "I'm naturally wiry," he teased, "so it's hard to tell, but I have been lifting weights." She pinned him with a skeptical look. "It's not as though I've other pressing commitments. And I wanted to be able to do this at least once."

She titled her head, staring up at him curiously. "Why?"

He shook his head. Honestly, did she not have an ounce of romance in her body? "Isn't the prince supposed to sweep the princess off her feet?"

She flushed. "You were once a prince, but I've never been a princess."

He tilted his head down to rest their foreheads together. "You are to me," he whispered. "And, of the two of us, I'm the better judge – I have experience with princesses."

She smiled and buried her face in his shoulder again, feeling like the giddy teen she'd never gotten to be and certainly wasn't now. So strange. It should make her feel old to stand beside him, but instead it made her feel young. _He_ made her feel young. By the way he treated her, the way he looked at her. As if, in his eyes, she was as ageless as he.

"I love you," she whispered.

His lips pressed to the crown of her head. "I'm aware," he echoed her earlier response. He felt her lips curve against his shoulder, and then she pulled back to look around the complex.

"So, my prince, which one of these tiny castles are we calling home this week?"

Lelouch blinked down at her and then he threw his head back and laughed. A moment later the bell-like chime of her laughter joined his.

They were probably drawing attention, but they were too happy and in love to care.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: In case you've not yet noticed - this story is utterly without plot and is chock full of fluff. I assure you, that is intentional. Thanks for reading!

reenas-as


	9. Chapter 8

CH 8

 _53 years post Z.R. – March_

"We are not going out." Kallen stood with her feet planted shoulder-width apart, arms crossed belligerently over her chest.

Lelouch sighed, one arm through his coat, frozen mid-motion of putting it on. "Why not? No one's going to recognize me anymore. And it's your birthday."

Kallen was not swayed. "Because I'm old, Lelouch. And you are not. Or at least you don't look it. And I don't want people to think I'm out celebrating with my grandson."

Lelouch's gaze softened and he dropped his coat to step into her and wrap one arm firmly around her waist. The other lifted to allow his fingers to catch her chin and turn her face to his. He brushed a soft kiss against her lips, causing her to exhale unsteadily. "You are not old."

"I'm seventy today, Lelouch!"

"Which means you've got a good two decades before anyone would consider you old. That's an entire generation, Kallen."

She leveled him a narrow-eyed stare.

He tried another tack. "No one's going to know you're seventy unless you tell them. You're beautiful." She was. Still lithe and lean and toned. She dyed her hair, mostly because she was still a prominent figure in politics and image was everything in that arena. She was still as lively and energetic as a much younger woman. Only the wrinkles on her face and hands gave her away, and even those were only deep enough to add character, in his opinion.

He meant it, she knew he did, saw it every time he looked at her. But . . . "I don't look seventeen." And he did. He really, really did. Completely untouched by time, he was as young and breathtakingly beautiful as ever. It didn't matter how good she looked for her age, she couldn't compare to him.

"Kallen," he cajoled, wrapping her against his chest, "let's celebrate properly." Despite what he'd said, he was ever aware that their time together was getting shorter every year. Who knew how many birthdays they would have left together? He wanted to make the most of every moment.

"We can celebrate here," she maintained, stubborn as ever.

Lelouch fought the urge to growl, because he didn't want to argue with her – not today. Actually, he didn't ever want to argue with her, and rarely did, but especially today he wanted everything to be joy and laughter. It was her birthday wasn't it?

Maybe he should give in and let her have her way.

"Alright," he conceded. "I'll order in."

"Thank you." She pushed up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek, high, near his ear, and then detoured to whisper, "it's more fun to celebrate in private anyway."

The look she gave him as she slipped away proved his point entirely. Kallen Kozuki was in no way _old._ A truth he was going to enjoy proving later tonight.

"Does that French place deliver?" she asked from the kitchen.

"For Zero's first attaché?" he asked, amused. "Probably. For anyone else? I doubt it."

Kallen frowned: she hated using her position, but she really, really wanted _Chez Levou,_ and after the fuss she'd just made she couldn't recant on eating in now.

Lelouch chuckled and moved to cage her between his body and the kitchen counter, hand reaching for the phone. "What do you want?" he asked, voice a silken whisper against her cheek.

She swallowed hard, suddenly hungry for something very different than dinner. But there would be time for that – they weren't children anymore, they could wait until they'd had a proper meal. "Ah. The usual? And mousse for dessert?"

This close to one another, his chuckle vibrated pleasantly from his chest to hers and tingles spread down from where his lips hovered almost touching her ear. They might not be hormonal teenagers anymore, but she was pretty sure she'd be dead before her body stopped responding to him.

"Was that a question?" he teased.

"Lelouch! Just order."

He did. In French. Body still pressed to hers, lips dangerously near her ear. It was, frankly, sexy as hell, and she didn't know how she was going to keep from jumping him while they waited for their dinner to arrive. Somehow she lost track of the conversation, though she knew it was longer than a typical take out call. He'd probably threatened them, or promised them something, or made a fuss about who the order was for. She didn't know. Her French had never been very good to begin with and right now every cell in her body was focused on _Lelouch_.

The phone beeped in her ear as he ended the call. He shifted into her, one leg moving to part her knees, his lips angling back to brush against her ear when he spoke.

"They said forty-five minutes," he breathed huskily. His hand glided up the bare flesh of her arm. "What do you want to do while we wait?"

He was teasing her again and she didn't care. Her body was humming as though she'd come in contact with a live wire, short circuiting all thoughts but the need for him. She turned her head sharply, catching his lips with hers in something more like an attack than a proper kiss. His lips curled against hers and his hands moved to frame her face, slowing and gentling the contact she'd initiated.

"Je t'aime," he murmured when she let him up for air.

She hummed in response, one arm moving to wrap around his neck, her other hand gripped his shirt over his heart. His lips found hers again, gentle but insistent. She didn't argue, though he had to work to keep the leisurely pace he was endeavoring to set. Much as he wanted to lose himself in her, dinner was on its way. He wasn't aiming for anything more than a prolonged make-out session here – something to take the edge off and also to build anticipation for later. Extended, interrupted, foreplay, so to speak. Experience had taught him that the wait was almost always worth it. Besides, it was her birthday, he wanted to worship her for hours in a proper bed, not indulge in a quickie against the kitchen counter. Both the romantic and the pragmatist in him agreed on that point. Kallen might be spry for a seventy-year-old, but she was a woman past menopause, and a former soldier, he didn't want to end this night in the emergency room setting a broken bone or icing strained back muscles.

Not that he would ever, ever tell her that.

When the doorbell rang, much later, Kallen had almost forgotten they were expecting anyone. She tensed automatically and Lelouch eased away from her with a lopsided smile of amusement.

"Dinner," he reminded her. "You'd better get it or they'll think I lied to them."

Kallen rolled her eyes at his antics, but obediently slid down off the counter –when had he lifted her there?– and began brushing her clothing and hair back into place. Lelouch's hands joined hers, a strange mix of clinical efficiency and lingering caresses. The bell rang again and Kallen brushed his hands away, squaring them against one another.

"How do I look?"

"Like you've been thoroughly kissed," he said, eyes twinkling.

Kallen batted his shoulder. "Am I all straightened out?" There was nothing she could do about her swollen lips, but that didn't mean she couldn't face the deliveryman with some dignity.

His gaze roved her form critically. "Nearly pristine."

She almost stuck her tongue out at him, but refrained. She walked at a brisk clip to the door and pulled it open. A young man in bus boy uniform stood there, which made sense since high-end French restaurants did not offer delivery service and therefore did not hire delivery staff. He looked startled.

"Oh. It's really you."

She fought down a smirk. Up on the times, or had restaurant management actually schooled him to check? Would they have taken the food back if she hadn't been who she claimed?

She reached for the bags on his arm, face assuming the polite mask of her position. "Thank you for making time to do this. I'm afraid I wasn't up to going out tonight, but I needed _Chez Levou_."

He smiled politely back at her and offered a small bow. "It was my pleasure ma'am. We are honored you think so highly of our establishment. Your assistant was most complimentary and solicitous in his request."

She couldn't help but turn to look over her shoulder at Lelouch, brow raised. Assistant? Was that what he'd told them? Lelouch smiled pleasantly back at her.

"I'm sure he was," she said quietly. "Give me a moment, I've left my wallet in the kitchen."

"I've got it." Lelouch's smooth tones interrupted at the same moment the heat of his body registered beside her and he extended an elegant hand toward the bus boy. When had he moved? He'd been by the counter only a moment ago.

The teen's gaze drifted down, his eyes widening briefly before he schooled his expression back to neutral, and Kallen realized Lelouch had slid one arm firmly around her waist. It was clearly the possessive hold of a lover. She felt heat rise in her cheeks, but resolutely maintained her poise.

"Thank you," Lelouch said and then he closed the door firmly. "Shall we?" he asked his lover, nimble fingers already loosing her hold on the bag containing their evening meal.

Kallen blinked at the closed door and then, ever so slowly, turned her head to look at him. Her cheeks were flushed pink and he fought back a grin, certain it would not be appreciated.

He was right.

"What. Was. That?" she asked, hand coming up to shield her eyes and hide her flushed cheeks. "Oh God, he thinks I'm a cradle robber."

At that he couldn't help but chuckle. "And it matters why?"

She peeked at him from between her fingers. "He knows who I am."

"He isn't going to say anything."

Her hands left her face as she gestured in exasperation. "But what if he _does_?"

Lelouch set their dinner on the table and turned to give her his full attention. "Are you worried about me or your reputation?"

She looked away from him. "Either. Both."

His hand slid along her cheek to frame her face and turn it gently to his. He hadn't expected her to be so bothered by this. "Kallen, he'll have forgotten all about it by morning."

"But what if he _doesn't_?"

"He will." Lelouch kissed her. She was stiff for only a moment before melting against him. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he pulled away. "I didn't think it would upset you. It's not often I get to stake my claim on you publicly. I got carried away." He'd only wanted to show he wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her.

Kallen leaned into his chest. "No, you're right. It's not a big deal. Working at _Chez Levou_ I'm sure he's aware of the need to be discreet."

"Forgiven then?" he asked, sweetly sincere.

Kallen smiled, hand reaching to caress the back of his neck. "Of course. Now where's my birthday dinner?"

Lelouch chuckled and turned her back to the table. "Right this way, Madam."


	10. Chapter 9

CH 9

 _70 years post Z.R. – September_

The shopping district of Tokyo was a bustling hub of movement and noise, though the crowds weren't nearly as bad now as they would be that evening or into the weekend. Lelouch and Kallen walked unhurriedly through the barely organized chaos, hands clasped in a lovers' tangle. Every so often Lelouch raised her hand to his lips, seemingly without thought, and brushed a gentle kiss there. Kallen flushed like a schoolgirl, but smiled all the same. Occasionally someone caught sight of the exchange and would look away, embarrassed or scandalized. Kallen paid them no mind.

At some point she'd stopped caring about the age difference. People would say what people would say – it wasn't as though it affected her. It was a shame it'd taken her nearly ninety years to figure that out.

"Where to next?" Lelouch prompted. Today's outing was part date, part errand-mission, as Kallen was in dire need of new shoes and a few sweaters for the upcoming winter. Still slender, she tended to feel the cold more now that she wasn't so active.

"Mmm. That little boutique across from the kimono shop, I think."

Lelouch gave a half bow and angled toward her desired destination. He shifted her arm to the crook of his elbow as they crossed the busy street, offering additional stability and support. Kallen was still spry for a woman her age –she didn't need a walker or a cane– but with so many people rushing by he wanted to keep her close.

They visited two more stores before he realized she was starting to wane. He pulled out his phone and was surprised to see they'd been out more than two hours.

"Shall we go home and have lunch?" he asked.

Kallen narrowed her eyes at him. The offer was causal enough, but the way his eyes lingered on her feet and shoulders she knew he was taking assessment of her weariness. Damn it, she hated being old. She tried to stay active, but she was wearing down. She couldn't walk as often or as long anymore, and crowds made her physically and mentally weary. She had what she needed – they really should return to her apartment. But . . .

"Let's have lunch out," she suggested.

His brows drew inward in an unconscious show of disapproval. "Kallen—"

"Just over at that café," she pled, pointing to an establishment with patio seating only a dozen or two meters ahead. "Please? We so rarely go out."

Lelouch's lips twitched. "We went to dinner just last week. And to the Kabuki theater the week before that." Now, so long after his "death", and with her retired, they were able to spend more time together, seeing one another at least two or three times a month, sometimes more. It still didn't feel like enough. He _wanted_ to spend every moment her. There wouldn't be many years left now.

She didn't answer, only stared at him, lips pulled tight in disapproval, and he relented.

"Alright," he agreed, mostly because it would give her a chance to rest before they began the journey home.

Kallen beamed at him and it was so beautiful he couldn't help but lean in and brush a tender kiss across her lips. Kallen sighed and leaned in to the light contact. Another part of her advancing age he could actually appreciate – she no longer cared what anyone thought of their relationship.

They broke apart and made their way to the café to enjoy a light lunch and then took the short bus ride to her apartment.

She really was tired by the time she shuffled in the doorway and she sighed gratefully when Lelouch knelt to ease her shoes off her aching feet. She didn't even protest when he rose and lifted her into his arms to carry her to the couch. He propped her against the mountain of cushions and then sat on the floor to massage her feet with skilled hands. She sighed and let her head fall back. Despite her physical weariness, her mind would not allow her to sleep and so she let it wander a lazy path starting with how nice it was to have a young lover to take care of her and ending somewhere in the vicinity of wondering how much longer she would feel up to trips like the one they'd taken today. She frowned as that thought took hold and started her down less pleasant musings.

For a long time they were silent. Lelouch almost suspected Kallen had drifted off, but then her chin fell and hazy emerald eyes met his.

"Are we ever going to talk about it, Lelouch?" she asked, unable to restrict her worries to her thoughts any longer.

He blinked, hands startled into stillness for a moment before he resumed gentle pressure. "Talk about what?" he asked.

Kallen sighed. He never wanted to talk about it. The young never did, she supposed, so the immortal probably had an even greater aversion. But it was reality, one that had to be faced sooner or later, and she was a warrior so she preferred to face it head on. "I'm old, Lelouch. I barely lasted two hours today."

"It was almost three," he corrected quietly.

She rolled her eyes. "Because we lingered at the café so that I could rest up for the bus ride home. You don't think I know that's why you agreed?"

His lips compressed into a flat line and his hold on her foot tightened briefly before he abruptly released her and shifted up onto the couch to sit at her side.

"What's your point?"

She worried her lower lips. What would happen to him when she left? She hadn't heard anything about C.C. in years now – did he even know where the other immortal was?

"I think you should spend less time with me."

He balked. "I refuse."

"Lelouch. I'm not going to be here forever."

"So I should, what? Wean myself off you gradually? Ridiculous."

Her hand rested gently on his tense forearm. She really wasn't trying to upset him. "You should spend more time with C.C. You're practically strangers these days."

He made a scoffing sound in the back of his throat. "I'll spend time with her once you're gone. For now, I want every last moment of _us_ that I can get."

She glared at him, stubborn now. "Don't be childish."

"You're the one being childish."

Their eyes fought a silent battle and Kallen wished he would just give in. They rarely fought, and she hated that they were doing so now. But these things had to be said. Time wouldn't lie down and be still for them. Honestly, they were lucky she'd made it this long with the lifestyle she'd led.

At length he sighed and ran a hand roughly through his dark locks. "What's gotten into you? This isn't like you."

Kallen looked away, uncomfortable, but unable to banish the mental image of herself frail and broken and lying in a hospital bed, that had started her on this conversation.

Lelouch gently turned her face to him with a hand under her chin. "Kallen?"

"I don't want you to see me like that," she confessed.

His eyes searched hers. "Like what?"

"Dying."

There'd been enough death for both of them. During the rebellion. And in recent years. Most of the surviving Black Knights were gone now; all the diplomats and staffers Kallen had worked with through the transition of the new Japanese government. They'd lost Suzaku a few years ago, and even Nunnally was gone now. Kallen had held Lelouch through a torrent of tears after the funeral he hadn't dared attend. The losses had been devastating, but the precursor was often worse. Lelouch hadn't sat at Suzaku's hospital bedside week after week and watched him wither away. He didn't know that pain yet and Kallen didn't want him to go through that with her.

Because the more terrifying part of her vision was him: features drawn, eyes haunted, lingering at her bedside hour after hour, day after day. Nothing to distract him from the knowledge that he was going to lose the woman he had loved for so long and given up so much for.

She hated that image. She loved him – she never wanted to cause him pain.

His gaze softened and he cupped her face in both hands. "Do you think that will make it easier?" he asked. "Do you honestly think I wouldn't regret the time lost? You know me, Kallen. You know which would hurt me more."

Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them back. He was right, of course. She knew that about him. The memory of her in her last days might haunt him the rest of his immortal life, but he wouldn't regret it. The knowledge that he'd abandoned her before that could happen might very well rip him apart. If she were truthful, the request had been made in part out of selfishness. She would rest easier in the afterlife knowing he was living rather than grieving.

She blinked, a shaky hand rising to lay against his. "At least get in touch with C.C. There should be someone here for you after I'm gone."

Lelouch smiled, a solemn, sad little thing, and leaned in to kiss her gently. "Alright."

A touch more at ease now, Kallen's eyes drifted closed and her head listed into Lelouch's tender hold.

His thumbs brushed her cheeks. "Let's get you in bed, hmm?" he whispered. "We could both do with a nap."

Kallen wanted to snort at the thought that he needed a nap as well, but she was too tired to do anything but nod her agreement. Lelouch lifted her again and took her to the bedroom where he tucked her in snugly before curling himself at her side over the covers.

Kallen fell asleep quickly, leaving Lelouch to the comforting warmth of her body against his and his own thoughts. He propped himself up on one elbow to study her sleeping face.

She was old, he realized, eyes tracing the proud age lines in paper thin skin. He knew that, of course, was careful to monitor her wellness during their increasingly frequent, but ever shorter, outings these last few years –they hadn't had sex in almost a decade, her libido almost nonexistent and her body uncooperative– but it wasn't something he often thought about. Kallen was Kallen, the woman he loved. When he looked at her or thought about her he saw the many memories they shared more than he saw her physical form. To him she had become almost as ageless as he.

But she wasn't.

It had occurred to him on more than one occasion over the years that eventually he would lose her, but he'd become quite adept at pushing the somber knowledge away, refusing to let future tragedy shadow the joy of the present. But that future had always felt distant, even if he had come to acknowledge that they'd spent more years together than they had left.

Today, for the first time, he truly understood what that meant.

His hands clenched in fists, restraining himself from reaching out to touch her, to reassure himself she was still with him – only sleeping, not dead. Tears welled in his eyes and for once he let them remain, reassuring himself that he would wash his face before she woke.

He was going to lose her. Soon. Another few years, maybe a decade at most. She would be gone, forever out of his reach. And he would miss her. That he'd always known. Miss her worse than those miserable three years before they'd reunited – because at least then he'd known she was out there somewhere, living her life. How long into endless eternity would the memory of these precious times with her be the only thing that sustained him in the dark of night? Whispers of long ago rendezvous and stolen moments away from prying eyes lulling him to sleep.

There'd been so few, he realized. Why hadn't they made more time for one another? Why had they been so cautious? How many days had they spent together over the years? Five hundred? A thousand? Two? It wasn't enough. He wanted more. He wanted every moment. Never had he wished to lead a normal, uneventful, average life more than now. To be old together and know they'd spent every moment they could making one another happy.

He couldn't have that; it was far too late. But he could have this. Whatever time she had left, he could share it with her. Maybe it was selfish, but he needed to spend her last years at her side.

She'd argue with him, of course. Hadn't she just tried to convince him to leave her? But he would triumph in the end. Because she loved him as much as he loved her, and she wouldn't deny him what they both wanted. Whatever selfless whim had driven her to suggest cutting ties, he'd chase it away with sheer temerity if necessary.

He wasn't leaving her. Not again. The next time they parted it would be because she had stepped beyond this mortal coil and into eternity.

xxx

A/N: Okay - I know you probably see where this is going,and I'm sorry, but it is the nature of this sort of story. However - the last two chapters of this story are alternate endings, and I've saved the "happy" one for last, so if you stick with me you have that to look forward to. One chapter and an epilogue for the story proper left, and then the two alternate endings. Thanks for reading!

reenas-as

edit 9/8 - one word! It ate the last word when I originally posted, so now that's fixed. Thanks to ryder77 for pointing that out.


	11. Chapter 10

CH 10

 _76 years post Z.R. – May_

Kallen stared at the ceiling of the stark hospital room and tried to decide if the sounds of the various machines she was hooked up to could be considered a kind of music. Probably. It seemed everything was considered music these days. The sounds had annoyed her when she'd first begun her stay three weeks ago, but she'd grown accustomed to them now.

"Ms. Kozuki?" Hiba, a friendly young nurse popped her head in. "That handsome young man is here to see you again."

Kallen smiled weakly. "Thank you, Hiba. Send him in?"

The nurse bowed and scurried off toward reception to escort Lelouch to her room. He was a daily visitor, staying as long as the hospital allowed. She hated the pain it caused him to see her like this, but she also appreciated the time with him. These last six years, seeing him every day, had probably been the best of her life, despite the weariness and the sickness. He never let her doubt that he was happy to be with her, even if the kinkiest thing they got up to these days was laying in one another's arms fully clothed. The love in his eyes still took her breath away.

There was a controlled set of light taps on the door and then, a moment later, slim fingers gently entwining through hers. Lelouch leaned over to press a kiss to her brow.

"Good morning."

He didn't ask how she was. They both knew the answer to that question: she was dying. That was the whole reason she was here. It was amazing how rapidly her health had declined in recent weeks, though the doctors said it was a miracle she'd had so few serious issues before now.

Lelouch kept a gentle smile on his face as he settled in the chair beside Kallen's bed. It was both a simple and a difficult task – easy to smile in the comforting presence of the woman he loved, difficult because he knew he didn't have much time left with her. Seeing the machines around the room, with their various cords trailing to connect to her body, always made him uneasy.

"I bought a new book. Do you want me to read it to you?" He smoothed her hair over the crown of her head and the pillows as he spoke.

"Mmm. In a little while. What did you have for dinner last night?" she asked.

The smile became something more like the start of a grin. "Curry."

Kallen made a face. "Curry? You have to give me something better than that. Tonight I think you should go to the new Crepe place the nurses were talking about."

"I'm not especially fond of crepes, you may recall."

Kallen turned her head to look at him, smile weak, but eyes twinkling mischievously. "But I am."

It had become a sort of game for them. Lelouch ate somewhere different every night and reported back on the experience to Kallen so that she could try to remember the flavor on her tongue. It had been years since her taste buds worked properly, but even for her hospital food was unbearably bland.

"It was good curry," Lelouch continued. "Mildly spicy, with big chunks of carrots."

"Oh stop," Kallen protested. "So gross. Did you shower before you came?"

"Why? Do I smell like curry?" He leaned up over her.

"I'm not going to check," she protested.

Lelouch chuckled and eased back into his seat. "I showered. Not that you would be able to tell." His eyes drifted to the oxygen tube feeding into her nose.

Kallen sighed. "I would still know."

This was their way. They'd agreed long ago that they would always face reality head on – no lies, no avoidance, no excuses. Which was why she had to talk to him seriously today.

"Lelouch."

His eyes met hers, amusement fading to match her solemnity. "Kallen."

"We need to talk. I don't have much longer." She could feel it in every aching synapse. The end was coming, maybe tonight, or tomorrow. The doctors gave her no more than another week. Her body was exhausted, giving out.

He abandoned the book he'd brought to cradle her frail hand in both of his. "I know," he acknowledged quietly.

"Lay with me?" she asked, already struggling to scoot further to the outside edge of her hospital bed.

"What?" Lelouch asked, surprised. Then he noticed her ineffectual attempts at movement. "Hey, stop that."

She huffed, exasperated. "Then help me."

"I don't understand."

"Lelouch, help me move so you can lay down beside me."

Their gazes locked in silent battle, but age had not diminished her stubbornness, and Lelouch knew if he didn't do as she said she would waste precious energy trying to do it herself.

"Alright," he agreed. With tender hands he shifted her to the far edge of the bed, clearing just enough space for someone with a very slim frame to lay on his side beside her. Fortunately, Lelouch more than met that requirement.

Still . . . there wasn't much room. The bed was not intended for two. It would be difficult not to jar her or risk hurting her.

Her hand crept back across the recently cleared space to grasp him.

"Please, Lelouch."

This was important to her, he realized. And so, against hospital protocol and all rules of comfort, he climbed up beside her, careful of the many cords and tubes surrounding her, and settled on his side. Kallen immediately tried to roll closer to him and he gingerly reached through the web of tubing to shift her into his chest, the lengths of their bodies pressed lightly together.

"Better?" he asked.

Kallen hummed and closed her eyes, snuggling into his gentle hold. He let his chin rest atop her head, savoring her nearness even with the scent of antiseptic heavy in the air, and the constant beeping of the monitors a persistent irritant at the back of his consciousness.

She was silent for so long he thought perhaps she'd fallen asleep, but then she spoke, quietly, voice muffled against his chest.

"You never did tell me."

Lelouch smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Tell you what?"

"What I mean to you."

There was a long stretch of silence. Every part of Lelouch ached so badly he almost couldn't breathe. This felt like the last question. Maybe that was why he'd always avoided answering it. To answer felt like giving permission for her to go.

But then, he always knew she would leave him eventually, and she was dying one way or the other – it would be terrible not to tell her before she did.

He blinked back tears, careful to keep them from his voice. "Everything," he whispered into the silver hair crowning the top of her head. His arms tightened ever so slightly, still mindful of her frailty. He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. "You mean everything to me."

He felt her lips curl into a smile against his chest and her frail hands formed fists in his shirt, holding him fast to her, but she didn't say anything. He responded in kind, hands stroking along her hair and back, lips pressed to the top of her head. He held her until she fell asleep, and long after, until a nurse finally came to quietly inform him that visiting hours had ended. He didn't respond, feigning sleep, and after a few attempts she let him be. Lelouch curled himself more protectively around the body of the woman who was the most important thing in all of life to him and tried not to think about the hole that would form when she left him behind. She was his everything, and he would stay with her until she wasn't there to stay with any longer.


	12. Epilogue

Epilogue

 _76 years post Z.R. – June_

There was a state funeral. All of Japan's prominent political figures, past and present, and many from the UFN, gathered to pay their respects to the woman who had been the right hand of the hero Zero for more than half a century.

Lelouch kept on the fringes, donning a disguise for the first time in two decades. He waited until the crowds had cleared out, lingering to pay his personal respects to his beloved.

The student council, the Black Knights, Suzaku, Nunnally, Kallen. Everyone he loved was now gone.

He'd known it was coming, thought himself prepared –especially after weathering the loss of his sister and best friend– but perhaps there was no way to prepare for this kind of loss. Like bracing oneself for the amputation of a limb – there was no way to anticipate the reality of it. Every human being knew this loss eventually, but few felt the depths of it like one who had no hope to follow after.

For the first time he thought he understood C.C.'s long ago wish for everything to end. How self-righteous he had been, keeping it from her.

He knelt beside the headstone and allowed his fingers to trace the cleanly etched engravings: her name, the relevant dates, and some testament to the good she had done for Japan and the world. Nothing personal, no "beloved wife and mother."

Her obituary had listed no surviving relatives – another sin to add to his lengthy list. He had stolen the chance at family from her. But his guilt was not for today. Today was for farewells.

"I love you," he breathed into the empty air. "I'll always love you." He would carry that love with him the rest of his days, hold the memories of her close to keep him warm.

He bowed his head and let the tears take him, coursing in silent streams down his cheeks. The passing of time meant nothing to him and eventually the sun began to sink and a light breeze ruffled his hair, cooling the sticky remnants of drying tears on his face. He took a deep breath and lifted his face to the breeze, welcoming its caress. He wished, for a moment, that he was prone to sentiment and superstition. That he could believe it was Kallen's spirit holding him one last time. Though he supposed he'd seen enough bordering on the mystic or supernatural in his life to concede it was at least a possibility.

A presence appeared beside him. Still and comforting. C.C.

"Red?" she asked, tone bored.

Lelouch, long accustomed to her quirks, did not take offense. Instead he reached up to finger his recently dyed locks. He hadn't wanted to risk suspicion by wearing a wig. "It seemed appropriate. I'll dye it back later."

C.C. nodded and Lelouch pushed to his feet, but otherwise remained where he was.

"She will be remembered fondly," C.C. said. "No being can ask much more than that."

Lelouch swallowed against a fresh choke of tears, eyes blinking forcibly to keep them at bay. "Thank you," he rasped. From the corner of his eye he saw her bob her head in acknowledgement.

They stood together in silence for a few minutes. There were a thousand things he could have asked her, things he wanted to know, about her past, her loves, her losses. But at the moment he could hardly bear his own ghosts and so he let it go. They would have forever to lick one another's wounds, after all.

C.C. said nothing. She understood all too well the pain of each new loss. Immortal though she was, guarded though she had become, she was still human at her core. It was impossible for humans to exist without making connections, forming relationships, no matter how hard they might try. Even now she was prone to forming new attachments, new precious people to someday loose. But at least this one she would not have to leave behind.

"Shall we let her move on?" C.C. asked at length.

Lelouch looked up to find her hand extended toward him, undemanding. He studied it long moments, contemplating the past he would leave behind once he took that hand, and the future that might open up before him. C.C. bore the wait patiently, hand unwavering, gaze gentle.

He stretched out his arm, fingers finding hers, palms sliding together smoothly. Her fingers curled over the edge of his hand and his responded in kind. Together they turned and took a step away from the past. And another. And another. Until they were walking into the approaching night, the past behind them, but not forgotten, carried with them into endless eternity.

XXXX

A/N: Happy ending still coming, I swear. Posting this and an alternate, expanded epilogue today and then next week you'll get the longer alternate which picks up at the end of chapter 3 and continues through the end with the happy ending (It's kind of a one-shot AU rewrite of the rest of the fic). Thanks for reading.

reenasas


	13. Epilogue - alternate ending 1

Alt. Ending #1

a/n: Two quick things - first, this is the second post of the day, so if you didn't read the primary epilogue do that first; second, the first several paragraphs of this are identical to the first epilogue, only the second half is altered. Feel free to skim until you get to that point.

XXX

 _76 years post Z.R. – June_

There was a state funeral. All of Japan's prominent political figures, past and present, and many from the UFN, gathered to pay their respects to the woman who had been the right hand of the hero Zero for more than half a century.

Lelouch kept on the fringes, donning a disguise for the first time in two decades. He waited until the crowds had cleared out, lingering to pay his personal respects to his beloved.

The student council, the Black Knights, Suzaku, Nunnally, Kallen. Everyone he loved was now gone.

He'd known it was coming, thought himself prepared –especially after weathering the loss of his sister and best friend – but perhaps there was no way to prepare for this kind of loss. Like bracing oneself for the amputation of a limb – there was no way to anticipate the reality of it. Every human being knew this loss eventually, but few felt the depths of it like one who had no hope to follow after.

For the first time he thought he understood C.C.'s long ago wish for everything to end. How self-righteous he had been, keeping it from her.

He knelt beside the headstone and allowed his fingers to trace the cleanly etched engravings: her name, the relevant dates, and some testament to the good she had done for Japan and the world. Nothing personal, no "beloved wife and mother."

Her obituary had listed no surviving relatives – another sin to add to his lengthy list. He had stolen the chance at family from her. But his guilt was not for today. Today was for farewells.

"I love you," he breathed into the empty air. "I'll always love you." He would carry that love with him the rest of his days, hold the memories of her close to keep him warm.

He bowed his head and let the tears take him, coursing in silent streams down his cheeks. The passing of time meant nothing to him and eventually the sun began to sink and a light breeze ruffled his hair, cooling the sticky remnants of drying tears on his face. He took a deep breath and lifted his face to the breeze, welcoming its caress. He wished, for a moment, that he was prone to sentiment and superstition. That he could believe it was Kallen's spirit holding him one last time. Though he supposed he'd seen enough bordering on the mystic or supernatural in his life to concede it was at least a possibility.

A presence appeared beside him. Still and comforting. C.C.

"Red?" she asked, tone bored.

Lelouch, long accustomed to her quirks, did not take offense. Instead he reached up to finger his recently dyed locks. He hadn't wanted to risk suspicion by wearing a wig. "It seemed appropriate. I'll dye it back later."

C.C. nodded and Lelouch pushed to his feet, but otherwise remained where he was.

"She will be remembered fondly," C.C. said. "No being can ask much more than that."

Lelouch swallowed against a fresh choke of tears, eyes blinking forcibly to keep them at bay. "Thank you," he rasped. From the corner of his eye he saw her bob her head in acknowledgement.

They stood together in silence for a few minutes. There were a thousand things he could have asked her, things he wanted to know, about her past, her loves, her losses. But at the moment he could hardly bear his own ghosts and so he let it go. They would have forever to lick one another's wounds, after all.

C.C. said nothing for a long time. She understood all too well the pain of each new loss. Immortal though she was, guarded though she had become, she was still human at her core. It was impossible for humans to exist without making connections, forming relationships, no matter how hard they might try. Even now she was prone to forming new attachments, new precious people to someday loose. She hated that he had to suffer this – had tried, in fact, to stop it.

"I offered her my code once, you know."

She hadn't meant to say the words, unsure how they would impact him, but Lelouch only smiled, a sad, soft lifting of the corners of his lips.

"She turned you down." A statement, not a question. He knew Kallen. She would never extend her life at the cost of an ally's.

"She told me she wouldn't know what to do with forever."

Lelouch let out a single, low chuckle. "That sounds like Kallen."

There was more, but C.C. wouldn't tell him that. How Kallen had said it wouldn't be fair to the immortal witch. After all, Lelouch had promised to fulfill C.C.'s wish, and Kallen knew, even if Lelouch had forgotten, what that really was. As far as Kallen was concerned, C.C. was owed a happily ever after with the man they both loved. Owed real love.

Selfless fool. C.C. didn't know if she could have been that selfless, but she'd tried. Because Kallen made Lelouch happy, and he deserved to be happy. He deserved far more than she did. She hadn't made the offer for Kallen, she'd made it for Lelouch.

The memory intruded, unbidden.

 _"_ _I could give you Geass." C.C. offered. "You'd have to use it, of course. Geass must be developed to a certain level before."_

 _"_ _Before what?" Kallen asked, confused._

 _C.C. blinked at her. "Before I can give you my code," she said tonelessly._

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because only one with fully developed Geass can kill an immortal."_

 _"_ _W-what?" Kallen sputtered._

 _C.C. understood the reason behind her near-panic. Kallen was a soldier, but she did not kill needlessly or selfishly. The immortal witch's expression softened. "You needn't grow old and leave him behind. Let me do this for him?"_

 _Kallen stared at her for a long time, silent, and then shook her head._

A touch at her elbow drew C.C. back to the present. Lelouch had risen, a hint of concern on his face.

She smiled, the twin to his earlier expression: equal parts pain and understanding. The past was past and could not be changed, not even with Geass. It was time to lay their ghosts to rest.

"Shall we let her move on?" she asked, extending a hand toward him, patient, and undemanding. He could have what time he needed.

Lelouch looked down at her hand, head tilting as though studying a particularly complex problem. And then he stretched out his arm, fingers finding hers, palms sliding together smoothly. Her fingers curled over the edge of his hand and his responded in kind. Together they turned and took a step away from the past. And another. And another. Until they were walking into the approaching night, the past behind them, but not forgotten, carried with them into endless eternity.

xxxx

A/N: Remember, happy ending next week. Hang in there!

reenas-as


	14. Alternate Ending (HEA)

A/N: So, when I started this story (many moons ago) I always intended to take the story out to Kallen's death. Partly because I think the show implies C.C. and Lelouch had something, even if they didn't act on it, and I thought C.C. deserved a chance with him, and partly because I didn't think C.C. would ever offer Kallen Geass, or that Kallen would accept if she did (see epilogues #1 and altered). However, when I was finishing the story a few months ago I thought it would be nice to consider what would happen if C.C. did offer, and Kallen did accept. So that's why you get this. It picks up at the end of chapter 3 when everyone is preparing to part ways at Nunally's and ends at the equivalent of the end of chapter 4. Hope you enjoy.

xxxx

Alt. Ending #2

 _3 years post Z.R. – June (picks up in the last section of Chapter 3)_

On their last day together Lelouch and Kallen made a real effort to spend some quality time with the rest of their small circle. It wasn't that they had _ignored_ their companions the rest of their stay, but they had been understandably wrapped up in one another. No one had blamed them, but that didn't mean that their presence wasn't missed all the same. And so, after their early morning . . . endeavors, the two dressed and made their way downstairs to join the rest of the world. They spent the day down by the lake with Nunnally and Sayoko and Suzaku, and even C.C. They had a picnic lunch and then took a walk, followed by kite flying and paper boat races on the lake in the afternoon. They behaved like the carefree children they'd never had a chance to be, and it was liberating.

They all trekked home for dinner and afterwards broke into conversational pairs. Lelouch and Nunnally wandered off on their own for the first time all summer – and Kallen felt a slight pang of guilt knowing that Nunnally must have missed him just as much as she, if not more so. Sayoko took Suzaku aside hoping for news of home though, honestly, it was quite likely she was mostly trying to give them both something to do so that Lelouch and Nunnally could be alone. At some point they headed out on to the porch to converse in the light of the setting sun.

And thus Kallen found herself alone in the parlor with C.C.

Kallen had never felt particularly comfortable with Lelouch's "accomplice," even though she –unlike the others– had known all along that the girl was not his mistress. Still, there had always been more than a little mistrust between them. Perhaps because she had known how important the immortal witch truly was to Lelouch, perhaps because the other girl was fighting for her contract rather than a cause, or perhaps simply because C.C. was so different from anyone else she had ever known. Despite that, she had come to tolerate C.C.'s presence in that time after the Black Knights' recovery of Lelouch, and perhaps even respect her a bit. And so, it wasn't without sympathy that she noted the way C.C.'s eyes followed Lelouch through the window.

"I'm sorry," Kallen said quietly into the stillness.

The girl-woman turned, tilting her head curiously though her face was nearly blank.

"What for?" she asked blandly.

Kallen sighed. "For this." She gestured helplessly. "For . . . for taking him from you, I guess."

C.C favored her with a strange little half smile, though it seemed the gesture was more for herself than for Kallen's benefit. Kallen remembered asking her once if she loved Lelouch and the witch had said she didn't know. Surely she knew now. It was clear even to Kallen and she had only seen them together for small bits of time in the past weeks. It hadn't seemed to matter before, when she'd thought that this was all the time she had, but now that Lelouch had promised to wait for her –to stay for her– well, it seemed so much more selfish.

"And don't tell me you don't love him," she added. "I know you do."

There was a moment of silence.

"Yes," C.C. finally admitted, to Kallen's surprise. "But it's alright. He needs this – needs you."

Kallen nodded. "I suppose you can afford to wait. You'll have him forever." She didn't mean to sound wistful, but she must have been unsuccessful in hiding her feelings, because the immortal witch tilted her head and studied her with an unfathomable look.

"You could have it," she said after a moment.

Kallen blinked. "What?"

"Forever. You could share it with him. I could give it to you." C.C. spoke slowly, as though the words were a revelation to her even a she said them, a new thought that had only just occurred to her.

Kallen's palms began to sting and she realized she'd clenched her fists so hard the nails were biting into the skin. It wasn't something she'd even thought to consider - forever. She would grow old and die and he would go on, forever young, that was reality. Or so she'd thought.

"What? How?"

The witch shrugged. "The same way Lelouch gained it. Geass."

Kallen's mind was racing. Forever? Her and Lelouch? It was the unattainable dream every young couple wished for and they could actually have it. Only . . .

"Why?" The question slipped out almost against her will. C.C. had already admitted to loving him. Why would she willingly hand over their future together, distant though it might be? "He loves you too." Even if he didn't fully know it.

"Yes." C.C. seemed somewhat surprised, not that Lelouch might love her, but that Kallen would say so – perhaps because Kallen knew, perhaps because she was so calm about it. "But he doesn't love me the way he loves you. I don't think he ever will."

"You can't know that," Kallen protested.

The immortal witch smiled sadly. "I know more than I'd like about love, in all its forms. Lelouch is Lelouch. He won't betray you, even after death."

No, he wouldn't. Because Lelouch was beyond loyal - the man was practically obsessive in his affections.

"How?" Kallen asked at length.

"I told you. Geass."

Kallen shook her head. "I know. But how does it work?"

"I would give you power. How it will manifest we won't know until after, but it's typically something in keeping with your personality. You would need to use it – often. Nurture it and let it grow in power, until . . ."

"Until what?" Kallen prompted, when it seemed the other woman would not continue.

Another shrug. "Until you are strong enough to kill me and extract my immortal code."

Kallen's lungs stopped working, the blood drained from her face, and she felt as though she might actually pass out. "What?" she managed to gasp.

C.C. was impassive as ever. "You will kill me and my immortal code will transfer to you."

Kallen shook her head.

"I do not see the problem. As a terrorist you killed many people."

Kallen gasped and reared back as though slapped. "For my country. For our freedom. Not for my own gain."

"No? So you did not wish to be free?"

Kallen frowned, considering that point. "It's different," she maintained.

C.C.'s gaze softened slightly. "Don't think of it like that. We're doing this for Lelouch. He's done so much for us, for the world, at such personal cost. How can we withhold from him his happiness?"

Damn. The witch made a good point. And it wasn't like Kallen didn't want it. Badly.

C.C.'s gaze held hers stubbornly and for the first time Kallen felt they truly understood one another, had connected on a deeper level.

Kallen released a long sigh, shoulders falling as the tension of shock and indecision left them.

"We can't tell him," she said.

"No."

"He'll figure it out though. After." Lelouch must know how the transfer worked. After all, he'd acquired a code. For a moment Kallen wondered who he'd gotten it from, before deciding that it didn't matter. Geass was a terrifying power, immortality even more so, and she had no doubt there were few in this world who did not abuse it. Whoever Lelouch had taken his forever from, they had no doubt deserved death, perhaps even craved it.

Kallen glanced out the window. The others were still walking the grounds, their figures now flat silhouettes in the distance. Little chance of interruption now. She took a breath to steel herself and faced the woman who was about to become her conspirator.

"How do we do this?" Kallen asked.

C.C. smiled, a look of almost triumph that seemed completely out of place given the pact they were about to make. "It begins with a question and a contract."

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

 _3 years post Z.R. – August_

"Are you using it?" There was no preamble to the question, no lead-in, but then, C.C. had never had much interest in social niceties.

"Um, yes?" Kallen didn't know why it came out almost a question. She refrained from flinching under her accomplice's hard stare.

"How often?"

Kallen swallowed, thinking. "At least one or twice a day. Sometimes more. When I'm sure no one is looking."

C.C. rolled her eyes. "You need to use it more. It isn't as though you're going to hurt someone."

No, Kallen supposed not. Though she probably she could use the power that way if she wanted to.

"You need to use it more," C.C. restated, firmly.

Kallen nodded.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

 _4 years post Z.R. – March_

"How is Lelouch?" Kallen asked.

C.C. studied her slice of pizza, picking off a burnt piece of pepperoni. They always met over pizza. Kallen wasn't sure why.

"I don't know."

Kallen frowned. "What? Where is he?" She'd assumed Lelouch and C.C. would stay together. Hadn't they been before?

"It's better this way," C.C. said, toneless, as was her norm.

"Better for who?" Lelouch didn't do well alone, Kallen knew this from experience. She remembered finding him in a dark alley, refrain clutched tightly in one hand. She shook the memory away. He hadn't lost everything this time. He had something to live for.

C.C. looked up sharply. "For both of us." There was an edge to her tone, to her look, that Kallen had rarely seen.

She was lonely, Kallen realized, but she was distancing herself from Lelouch for his sake. Hoping to minimize the sense of loss he would inevitably feel once she was gone. She was being . . . noble. Kallen took a moment to assimilate this new aspect of the woman into her thoughts.

"Thank you," she murmured, at length, because Lelouch would never get the chance to say it, and C.C. deserved to hear it.

C.C. nodded once and then turned her attention back to her lunch. Kallen didn't say anything more.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

 _4 years post Z.R. – July_

C.C. released Kallen's chin and nodded in satisfaction. "You're progressing more rapidly than I expected. That's good."

Kallen blinked, eyes a little dry from holding them open while C.C. completed her "inspection." "What does that mean?" she asked.

The witch shrugged. "It means we can complete this in a few more months, probably."

Kallen's chest tightened at the words, equal parts eagerness and dread. Every day they waited for her Geass to progress was an increase in the age gap between herself and her lover. But every day she grew stronger was a day closer to ending C.C.'s existence. She tried not to think about it much. That she was going to murder an ally for her own selfish gain.

"Have you seen him recently?" C.C. asked, casual.

There was only one "him" in their relationship. It startled Kallen a bit, both because the question came without segue and because C.C. never asked about Lelouch. She imagined it was a painful subject for the immortal.

Kallen shook her head. "Work has been busy. And he's trying to stay out of Japan for a while."

C.C. nodded. "He's always been discerning."

Well, that was one way to put it. Calculating was another. She didn't quite like the negative connotation of that label though. It implied a cold sort of emptiness Lelouch had never quite perfected, despite his efforts. Lelouch cared too much to be calculating. So perhaps discerning was the better word after all.

"He promised to come back for Christmas." Traditionally that was a lovers' holiday in Japan, though she didn't think it was in the rest of the world. It was sweet that he'd remembered.

C.C. hummed with apparent disinterest, but Kallen saw the slight stiffening of her shoulders and knew the witch remembered too. C.C. laid her napkin across her empty plate and pushed to her feet. "I'll see you next month."

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

 _4 years post Z.R. – December_

Kallen left The Zero Residence with a definite spring in her step, despite the cold. She was going to see Lelouch for the first time in a year and a half. She would be able to hold him, touch him, feel him—

She fought a full body shudder that had nothing to do with the cold.

"Kallen."

The flat greeting nearly caused her to stumble and she turned her head slowly toward the source. She could just make out a long line of apple-green in the alley to her right.

"C.C.?" Why was she hiding in an alley? They met in public all the time. Actually, why was she here at all? Their next appointment wasn't for two more weeks.

"It's time."

Kallen frowned. "Time for what?"

C.C. didn't answer, only turned on her heel with a sharp, "Follow me."

Kallen did, wondering at the immortal's odd behavior and glad she had another hour before she had to be at the train station. She hoped whatever this was didn't take long.

C.C. led Kallen through several alleys and finally into a deserted warehouse far enough from the Zero Residence not to be suspicious. She took a surreptitious breath to steady herself and then turned to face a confused Kallen.

"Your Geass is strong enough now to complete the transfer," she said, careless tone hiding the sudden twist in her stomach. She didn't know why she was nervous. She'd wanted this for centuries – to see the end of her empty, immortal life. And doing it now would allow her to give the greatest possible gift to the partner who'd most understood her. The man she'd come to love. She shook off her doubts and extended a hand to Kallen.

Kallen seemed frozen. "Now? But how do you know?"

"I sensed it. We have a connection, you and I, through Geass." C.C. knew, down to the very marrow of her bones, that she was right, but because Kallen seemed to need the assurance she stepped closer and cradled the other woman's cheeks in her hands, peering into her eyes. "Two," she confirmed, the symbol of Geass a faint glow behind the contacts she'd instructed Kallen to wear. "You didn't feel any different?"

Kallen shrugged and shifted away, awkward. "I don't know. My head's been so full of L—um, other things lately, I hadn't really noticed." It seemed cruel to mention him now. Especially if this was really going to be the end.

C.C. smiled, knowing and sorrowful. "It will be over quickly," she said. She slid her hands from Kallen's face, down her arms, and used them to lift Kallen's right palm to rest lightly over her heart. Her gaze held that of her accomplice firmly, trying to convey a surety that here, at the end, she wasn't certain she really felt. But they needed to do this. For her. For Lelouch. "You're strong," she told Kallen, and it was the truth. "Stronger than anyone I've shared the power with." Stronger even than Lelouch in many ways. Only Kallen could do this. "Grant my final wish. Give me peace."

She closed her eyes, that same tiny smile still on her lips.

Faced with the moment of truth, Kallen wasn't sure she could go through with it. Her knees felt weak and her stomach turned. She had been a soldier, but she had never been a killer. In the end, it was the look of serenity on C.C.'s face that decided it for her. The ageless woman was ready to move on. Who was Kallen to deny her that basic right given to all humans? The right to end?

Kallen took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and called on the power of her Geass.

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

 _4 years post Z.R. – December_

Chinatown, Yokohama, wasn't quite the last place she'd expected for her Christmas get away with Lelouch, though it was pretty far down on her list of possibilities. The rickshaw, however, she'd never imagined. It was a little funny, being pulled through the streets of Chinatown by a little old man. It provided a pleasant, if brief, distraction from the thoughts that had plagued her since her last hour in Tokyo.

C.C. was gone. Dead. Forever. And Kallen would not be. Ever. They had successfully transferred the green haired witch's code – Kallen now possessed the penultimate manifestation of Geass power: immortality.

She'd expected to feel different, at least mentally, but she didn't. That would come later, she supposed.

She couldn't get the image of C.C. out of her head. Sprawled on the cold concrete floor, a smile making her already flawless face breathtakingly beautiful. It was, perhaps, the only true smile she'd ever seen on the woman's face. Or at least the only truly happy one. Kallen had just begun to panic about what to do with the remains when they faded away. It was convenient, she supposed, but unsettling. That someone who had lived for centuries could leave nothing behind when they left the world.

She still hadn't figured out how she was going to explain this to Lelouch. Because there was no keeping secrets from him. And she wouldn't want to if she could.

"Best not to keep young man waiting, yes?"

The words startled Kallen and she looked around to realize the old man had stopped alongside a row of old, but decently maintained, apartments. He came back to assist her down and slipped a key into her hand with a twinkle in his eye.

Kallen almost frowned, but caught herself and gave a polite bow. She reached for her purse to find money for a tip, but the man waved her off. Already paid by Lelouch, no doubt. Or maybe he owed Lelouch something. Even without Geass, Lelouch had a way of bending others to his will that was rare. But then, C.C. had told her that Geass manifestation seemed to be almost the extreme of an already dominant trait within the recipient, so she supposed that made sense.

She took the stairs cautiously, uncertain if the young man referenced was Lelouch or another emissary. When she reached the door that corresponded with the key in her hand and saw the clear alias on the plate though she knew it had to be him. Her stomach twisted in excitement colored by anxiety - eager to see him again after so many months, but worried now that the moment of truth had come. She swallowed hard to clear the lump in her throat and took a few calming breaths.

"I thought you said there was a ways to go?" she questioned before she'd fully crossed the threshold. The decision to put off the conversation they needed to have wasn't intentional, but once the words were out she realized she needed a few minutes to enjoy being near him again before she could break the news. She needed the strength his presence gave her. "We're still in Chinatown." It was a struggle to keep her tone casual, but she did so, eyes trained on his darkened figure across the way.

"Misdirection is a powerful tool, one not to be underestimated," Lelouch admonished, amethyst eyes twinkling as he turned on the lamp beside him. "Hello, Kallen."

She was beautiful, standing in his doorway, toeing off her shoes. And it had been far, far too long since they'd last been together. He couldn't wait this long again. He couldn't wait any longer now. He had to be touching her.

He rose smoothly and approached, his hand catching hers and bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. He did not release her after, instead using the connection to draw her closer to his body and further into the room.

"I've missed you," he murmured almost into her hair.

"Me too," she answered and then fell silent, unable to think of anything else to say now that she was face to face with him.

He was beautiful. Was that going to hit her anew each time she saw him again? It wasn't that she'd forgotten in their time apart; but rather that her mind seemed incapable of properly cataloguing the true depth and vibrancy of him. It didn't help that his touch on her skin set her heart off like a jackhammer. Her pulse jumped, her breath stalled, and her body burned and ached as he settled down onto the couch with her beside him.

"Is here alright?" Lelouch spoke softly against her ear, loving the shiver the action provoked. "I didn't want to seem shallow or over eager by taking you straight to the bedroom." Not that they needed to be in the bedroom for this. Lelouch had been fantasizing about having her on this couch from the moment he first saw it. It was unusually deep-seated for a couch. Uncomfortable for sitting, but perfect for two people to do other things on.

She shuddered at the word alone. Swallowed hard to clear the sudden lump of desire blocking her throat. "Either one is good." Oh God, not good, not good. She had to stop him. Had to tell him before they went any further. She didn't know how he would take the news, but if he was going to be angry she didn't want to add betrayal to her list of sins by giving in to her body's selfish wants under the false pretense of normality.

"Kallen?"

He must have sensed her hesitancy, because his fingers slowed their caresses and he pulled back to meet her gaze, worry in his own.

"What's wrong?" She looked uncertain, even frightened, and for a moment he was terrified she'd changed her mind. His hands swept thoughtlessly upward to cradle her face in his hands. "Tell me," he urged, quashing the threatening rise of panic, determined to let only tenderness bleed through in his touch and tone.

She licked her lips. "Lelouch . . . there's, ah," she swallowed thickly, "there's something I haven't told you." She couldn't put it off, she needed to tell him now. Because he was going to figure it out even if she didn't –she would stop aging, and anyway he'd see the mark when they made love– and she didn't want to seem like she was hiding from him.

His hold on her shifted, sliding along her waist in an effort to comfort her, and she felt something crinkle against her torso. She frowned. She didn't have anything in her pockets.

"Hold on," she told Lelouch. Her hands searched her fitted jacket and encountered paper. She pulled it out and found a neatly tri-folded piece of heavy stationary, Lelouch's name scrawled across the outer flap.

A letter?

There was no questioning who had penned it or where it had come from. C.C. must have slipped it into Kallen's pocket in the moments before her death, when Kallen had been otherwise distracted.

What did it say? Should she give it to him now? Should she read it first?

The decision was taken from her hands, quite literally, as Lelouch gently plucked the folded sheet from her limp fingers.

He turned the page over, eyes widening slightly to see his name on the flap. The handwriting was familiar and he flipped it open, eyes rapidly scanning the page. Something in the vicinity of his heart clenched and he read it through twice more, though the last time was made difficult by his suddenly blurred vision.

Kallen sucked in a breath as he read. He'd gone unnaturally still, only his eyes roving back and forth across the page. Eyes that were beginning to shine with the sheen of unshed tears. He blinked against them, as though trying to clear them away, but they persisted. Her heart sank. Oh God. Had they made a terrible mistake? She'd known what C.C. really meant to him, but she'd selfishly allowed herself to believe the witch's assurances—

The crisp sound of paper creases being reinforced drew her from her rising panic and she looked up to find Lelouch smiling softly at her. He leaned to set the letter on the end table and then took her hands in his.

"Well, that explains her behavior over the last few months."

Kallen blinked at him, unsure.

He drew her gently into his arms, cheek coming to rest against the top of her head. "I wish she'd told me," he murmured. "I would have liked to thank her."

A tension Kallen hadn't even known existed suddenly eased and she all but collapsed in his arms. "You're not angry?"

He turned to kiss the top of her head. "Angry? Sad, perhaps, but how could I be angry? She's given us forever."

He pulled back far enough to tip her head and kiss her, and she let herself sink into his warmth. Forever wasn't such a terrifying thought knowing it would be spent at Lelouch's side. Her fingers reached to trace his cheek as they indulged in gentle exploration for seconds that stretched to minutes.

At length, Lelouch pulled back, hands sliding upward to cup her face as he studied her with serious eyes. "Does this mean you're coming with me?" he asked.

The question caught her off guard. She hadn't really thought about it. Of course she'd spend eternity with him, but right now? She had obligations. Responsibilities.

He frowned at her hesitation. "You won't be able to hide it, Kallen. You're not going to age."

She shook her head and then nodded. "I know. But I need to give my notice, train someone new. Suzaku's going to have to get used to wearing that damn helmet all the time again." She grinned at the thought and Lelouch answered it. "Give me six months," she pled. "Six months and then I'm yours."

His smile gentled and he traced the curve of her cheek with the back of one hand. "Six months," he agreed. "A small price to pay for eternity with the woman I love."

She smiled and took his hand in hers, moving to stand and pull him with her. "So, where is the bedroom in this place?" she asked, eyes twinkling. Lelouch threw back his head and laughed, warm and joyous and wonderful. He shifted to tangle their fingers together and pulled her toward the door on the left.

"Come on," he encouraged, "I'll give you a glimpse of our forever."

xxxx

A/N: And with that I bid you farewell. No plans for further Code Geass fanfic, unfortunately, but someday inspiration might strike again. Hope you enjoyed reading, and thanks for giving me a chance.

reenas-as


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